Hi Ash J
Welcome and I am so sorry that you have to manage these feelings and this pressure to "get it right" with your sister. She is clearly struggling and is need of some help. Now this does not mean the responsibility falls on you, but you are part of the team to help her, and SO IS SHE...the journey to wellness will not progress without her on board.
Being a carer or a person living with someone who is suicidal is I imagine a very stressful and heartbreaking thing to have to do, please make sure that you take some time to get some support for you too. Just as your sister can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 at anytime to get some support, so can you. There is also the wonderful people at Beyond Blue on the phone that can help 1300 22 4636 and mostly if your sister is ever in immediate danger or is not safe, please call 000 and have an ambulance come.
You ask a very interesting question as to "what does that mean?", I am no therapist and I am not a counsellor either but being here I have learnt a thing or two about suicide (I lost my 19 yo brother almost a year ago) and about people who have suicidal thoughts. For us that do not it is a very hard concept to manage that "why don't they get help?" "how selfish to want to die?" "what am I supposed to do?"..firstly can I say that we need to alter our thinking, your sister is clearly screaming out for help and this can be seen as attention seeking, however, once we accept that this person is in a very dark place and along with depression and anxiety and feeling very negative about life and about themselves we can support them without judgement. Your sister does need your support and this might be in the way of a conversation, asking how you can help her, what she needs from you in her dark times, providing her with support phone numbers or even making an appointment for her at the GP and offering to go with her. But as I said before, she needs to be part of the team for her journey to start.
I am so glad you have come to chat and to get some support and some ideas on how to support your sister, I am hoping you will chat some more, you may even suggest this to your sister as a place she can come to chat and get some support without judgement or criticism, it could be a start for her too.
Can you take some time to walk with her or do some things that she enjoys too? This might help with showing her you do care and you want to be apart of the team to support her.
Hugs to you Ash J