Since last year my mental health has been spiralling downwards.
7 years ago my mum was diagnosed with early onset alzheimers, I'm 28, my mum is 68. Mum was a very positive and happy person first 5 years, now these moments are sporadic. I know at some point in the day it's going to be difficult, it's unpredictable when. Moods range from happy to manicly upset/depressed/irritable.
Mum defies my help a lot now even though can't do it alone, it's been such a struggle getting her to do daily necessities without becoming bigger then it is. I have to expect the worst. Everything I do is to help her, I get so upset because my help is the enemy. I'm starting to show it infront of her because I'm just really all over the place myself, becoming unpredictable with my patience. I then feel very upset because I don't want to ever make her feel like any of this is ever her fault.
I have 3 siblings that don't really pull their weight, I am the youngest and they always wait for me to ask when they no I'm struggling. So I just struggle on and do my best because it's easier for me to rely on myself. My partner helps me more then my family, and I love him dearly for it, but feel guilty for it too. I don't think they know how I feel but they also know how bad mum is-they'd rather turn a blind eye. It frustrates me that they talk to me about all their problems and tell me how tired and busy they are and ignore that I have a job, I'm a full time carer, and I also have been living at home since mum was diagnosed (I also make sure to help with bills, groceries etc) . I've giving up my social life and reduced work because I love mum and I have trust issues with my siblings. Luckily on a Wednesday I have a lovely lady come over and spend time with mum for a few hours, they have built up a beautiful friendship.
My dad also had a stroke last year, I'm trying to go over as much as possible to see him, but it is hard to try and be there for both of them equally. I'm trying to get supports into place so he has more avenues for help, as he is older then my mum and currently has a walker. My brother tries to go over as much as he can but struggles with his own mental health issues, and my sister and him had a fight and she was his carer (they haven't seen or spoken to each other in over 6 months).
Honestly I'm just trying to be really strong and keep calm but I'm a ticking time bomb. It would be good to find some people with the same issues to support each other.