Good on you for reaching out here. It sounds like you have been really struggling. Things must be very difficult for you lately...I think it’s very brave of you to realise that you need help and that you are willing to obtain it.
My gentle suggestion would be to give the mental health crisis line for your state a call for more information. For example, in the ACT, the mental health crisis line is called the Mental health triage service. In Tasmania, it’s called the mental health services helpline. Etc, etc. They all serve the same purpose but the name just varies between states.
One way to find a listing for mental health lines for ALL states is to type “CATT Health Direct” in your browser’s search bar. Something called “CATT - the crisis assessment and treatment team” by Health Direct (which is a not-for-profit organisation that is owned by the Australian government, and operates on a nation wide basis) should show up. If you open that page up and scroll down a bit, you should find a list of the mental health lines for ALL states.
I hope this is a little helpful. If you have any questions or just want to write, please don’t hesitate to do so. I feel there are many caring and supportive people here who would want to reach out to you.
Warmth and kindness,