RIP :') It turns out the guy I got a referral for isn't accepting any new appointments right now. Booked out til the middle of next year. So I definitely will need to get another referral. Hopefully that one will work, though who knows when I'll be able to actually get it done.
NGL I'm incredibly frustrated right now. I've spent so LONG building up to this and finally felt like I was making progress. It's just such a DIFFICULT system. The whole point is that we're bad at this stuff!! Why do I need to push myself so hard just to even get assessed??
And this is so many times of mentioning it to counsellors or therapists and getting 'no you aren't lol' within 20 minutes of knowing me. (Weirdly, after meeting me for a few sessions, they always seemed a lot less skeptical???) After being given one kind of super short assessment test by someone who clearly didn't know anything about ADHD and couldn't explain any of the questions, one of which I now know I answered wrongly because I had no idea what it was trying to ask and overthought it. After specifically asking my old GP to refer me to someone who can assess ADHD and actually being sent to an anxiety therapist - something I only found out halfway through the (expensive!!) session, during which she heard that I can't drive or hold conversations without difficulty and just shrugged and said she didn't hear anything to be concerned about.
And I knew it was a possibility that this referral wouldn't work out but I finally felt hope that the future was in my grasp for once and it sucks that it was taken away for reasons outside of my control AGAIN.
ugh. I will go to the doctor and get a new referral. But it's just depressing. I've had SO MUCH TROUBLE finding work (actually currently unemployed with nothing on the horizon again) and once again it's a case where the difference between pushing myself and doing the right thing versus doing nothing is just... non-existent, over and over again. I was trying to do this so I could get better at that and not need to push myself so hard to do that. But even here you can do it right but just: nope! Nothing available.
ugh. just needed to vent for a moment.