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Topic: Sick of trying

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. Miss C
    Miss C avatar
    3 posts
    3 July 2020

    I am so sick and tired of trying and failing to get help and support. All I do is cry and cry. My mental health was in a bad way I was hospitalised many times and had my daughter taken out of my care, I fought so hard to get her back and am still at risk of possibly losing her.

    I have been trying to get onto the ndis so I can have ongoing supports that I desperately need. The psychologist who I have invested 2 years with needed to provide supporting information. Because it was too hard for him to do or he just couldn't be bothered I now have been denied access.

    My relationship with this psychologist has been extremely rocky but due to trust issues I stuck with him. I am beyond angry, beyond upset at how he has treated me. Why don't I deserve supports? It's not as simple as finding a new psychologist. This man has made me never want to trust another soul again. He wont acknowledge how I feel, won't respond to me. I can't stop crying as I feel so hurt

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    2782 posts
    3 July 2020 in reply to Miss C
    Hey Miss C, thanks for joining us on the Beyond Blue forums. We know how difficult it can be to write the first post so thank you for having the courage to do so. It sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment and we can hear how overwhelmed you are. We're so sorry to hear you're at risk of losing your daughter and how careless your psychologist seems to be acting. We think it's really strong of you and so important that you have been so proactive in recognising you need some help and seeking it.

    If you feel that it would be beneficial to you to talk through your feelings and experiences with a counsellor, please, contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here:
    One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support and advice.

    Hopefully, a few of our welcoming community members will pop by to welcome you and offer some words of support. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about how we can best support you during this time. 
  3. Nurse Jenn
    Health professional
    • Health professional
    Nurse Jenn avatar
    414 posts
    4 July 2020

    Hi Miss C,

    Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time right now. Being denied access to the NDIS would be hard news to hear. It is already a frustrating process to go through and then to have your psychologist not provide the information you need, this would be really frustrating. I wonder if you have taken any steps to appeal the decision or seek advocacy? You can read about some of the sites and supports linked here

    Becoming attached to a psychologist or a counsellor is very normal. When a loss of trust happens I can hurt like the break down of any relationship. I am sorry you are going through this. Sometimes, like with any loss, you need to take some time to grieve and be extra kind to yourself. What you are going through sounds really hard to me, so I can only imagine how tough it is for you.

    Sometimes writing a letter and expressing yourself this way to your psychologist can help get some of the frustrations and feelings out. Talking more about your experience here on the forum can also be therapeutic for some people. I am sure you are feeling quite untrustworthy of healthy professionals right now but reaching out to a support line when you are experiencing such a high level of distress can really help in a hard moment. There are numbers like Lifeline 13 11 14 or as Sophie M mentioned, the Beyond Blue Support Line on 1300 22 4636.

    You definitely deserve and are worthy of support for both you and the benefit of your daughter. I wonder if you have any close friends or family who could come and be with you right now to offer your comfort?

    You are not alone, we are here for you to listen if you feel comfortable sharing more of your story.

    Sending you strength,

    Nurse Jenn

  4. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    1226 posts
    5 July 2020 in reply to Miss C

    A warm welcome to you Miss C

    I feel for you so much as you navigate a number of systems that appear to be sabotaging your efforts to better yourself. Was saying to someone just yesterday 'I believe the most effective way to deal with any challenge involves first identifying the challenge/s involved and then either manage them or seek help from others to co-manage them. Unfortunately, when the co-manager's actions or inaction is depressing, things can become even more depressing'. I'm sure I don't have to tell you this.

    I know easy for me to say but it's important you keep in mind the incredible effort you are making in raising yourself. When you realised raising yourself was something you needed help with through a psychologist, you employed one. When you realised raising yourself to the point of regaining care of your child required more effort, you put more effort in. When you realised raising yourself required help from the ndis, this is what you began wanting to work towards. Just about every step of the way, your goal has become about raising yourself. You gotta admit, that's pretty amazing for someone who struggles with mental health challenges.

    So, now, you reached the point where you're angry and I can't say that I blame you. Would you say you feel like screaming 'Okay you sh***y bunch of hopeless you understand how depressing you all are?! Do you not understand how incredibly overwhelming all this is for me?! All I have ever asked for is that you help me raise myself to a life I long for and you just can't deliver. Why the heck not?!!!' Basically, you've reached the point where you can no longer tolerate the intolerable behaviour of others and YOU'RE ANGRY. You face the faults of others and the systems that are obviously broken to some degree. So, the question becomes 'How do I best navigate a broken lot of systems, in order to get the results I'm after?' Now, you've got the mindset of a warrior, going into battle, which is not a bad thing if you want results.

    Wondering if you or a friend who can tag along can challenge the psychologist to action. Might go a little like 'I want serious answers as to why I'm ineligible for the scheme. I want assistance that enables me to succeed in the way of my mental health, not assistance that sees me fail to get better at every turn. Now, how are we going to manage this and don't tell me 'I don't know'?' Start making demands as opposed to making requests. I imagine this will be a challenge.


  5. Miss C
    Miss C avatar
    3 posts
    5 July 2020 in reply to Nurse Jenn

    Hi yes I have appealed the ndis descion, I have a lawyer and an advocate but because of the psychologist we wont get far.

    I have written numerous letters to my psychologist explaining how I feel but he always turns it around to make me feel bad and I end up apologising how I feel. He never acknowledges any mistakes he has made, he is always right and sometimes I think he acts like a god or something

  6. Miss C
    Miss C avatar
    3 posts
    5 July 2020
    Thank you all for your replies, I'm still crying over all this. I struggle so much with my mental health and my daughter has a severe disability and severe autism which requires constant care. It's so hard to look after her and look after myself
  7. InhaleExhale
    Student Mentor
    • Masters of Psychology student on placement
    InhaleExhale avatar
    54 posts
    9 July 2020 in reply to Miss C

    Hi Miss C,

    Welcome to the forums, I hope that we can provide you with some support during the extremely difficult time. You’re doing really well by continuing to reach out and by posting online you are also helping others going through similar situations to see that they’re not alone.

    You’ve got a lot of challenges going on. You are trying to improve your own mental health while also looking after your daughter who has a disability and I imagine requires constant and intensive care. Taking care of your daughter would be a two person job, without the need to look after your own mental health on top. If you feel comfortable maybe you could share a bit more about your mental health journey?

    Feeling betrayed by your psychologist is unimaginable. Clients put a lot of trust in their psychologists to do right by them and keep their best interests at heart. I’m sorry this has happened to you. Has your NDIS advocate contacted your psychologist regarding this issue? Perhaps they could offer some support to obtain the documentation you need from your psychologist.

    I’d love to hear how you have been these last few days.

    Inhale Exhale

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