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Tips or Strategies For Getting the Most Out of Therapy

WokingOnIt
Community Member

Hello.
I am currently seeing a psychologist for fortnightly therapy sessions. I have had about six sessions so far. I like this psychologist, and feel he will be helpful to me. Previously I have not felt that any professional I have seen was able to help, so this is a miraculous new thing to me and I want to make sure I make the most of the opportunity.

I am autistic, and have depression and anxiety - specifically social anxiety. I have come to realise that this is in part due to being autistic, and struggling with communication - it is quite natural to be anxious when you literally don't understand what is going on or what is expected of you, and have often been criticised for the way you speak or your 'incorrect' facial expressions. My psychologist is very experienced with autism, which helps.

There are two main questions, I suppose.

One: What else can I do in between therapy sessions to further my own work and recovery? I have talked about this with my psychologist and asked for book recommendations - which I have ordered, and will read - and I have ongoing homework to record dreams, write three "positive" things each day, and write down any other thoughts I want to.

I have been reading other books on my own too, based on recommendations/reviews either online or from friends.
I have also started bush walking, most days - as everything I read about depression emphasises the importance of physical exercise.

Two: What can I do in session to improve my ability to relax and communicate? I get extremely anxious, especially at the beginning, and this impairs my ability to speak. I also have trouble speaking verbally under stress or pressure (and my brain interprets questions as both of those things...). Even when I CAN speak verbally, I often revert to sarcasm and defensiveness when panicked, and then get disappointed with myself for "wasting" the session - because I'd really rather speak authentically and honestly - but this is very hard for me to do.

I have spoken (or rather, written) to my psychologist about this, and the anxiety has improved over time, somewhat, with my various efforts... but I am very open to hearing new ideas or strategies. One thing I tried yesterday in session was writing "BREATHE" in green (my favourite colour) on the inside of my wrists, so that as I was fidgeting in front of my face (as I do every session, to manage anxiety) the reminder to breathe was right there in my face. It did help, and I will do this from now on.

3 Replies 3

Alexlisa
Community Member

Hello WorkingOnIt.

Welcome to the forums ☺️

It’s so great hearing how positive you’re feeling about working with your new psychologist. It sounds like he’ll be a good fit for you. The first thing I want to say is please don’t be too hard on yourself. You clearly want to work hard to improve, but these things take time and you don’t want to become overwhelmed with putting too much pressure on yourself all at once.

It sounds like you’re doing plenty of therapy work between sessions. If you feel like you want more structured ‘homework’ maybe speak to your psychologist about coming up with a plan together.

I can completely relate to that feeling of being overwhelmed in session and then feeling like you’ve wasted the time. I get extremely anxious and it’s still an issue now, even though I’ve been with my current psychologist for 4 years. Some of the things that I’ve found helpful is to write down what I want to say before I go in. It could either be a list of topics or else sometimes I write the entire conversation out so that if I have to I can just read it, or else hand it to her to read. This is especially helpful if you’ll be talking about something you know might make you freeze up.

Another thing I’ve found helpful is to have a comfy jumper or teddy with me that I hug while I’m there. It helps me feel grounded and like there’s something safe between me and her. I also have fidget toys that I use sometimes.

With your Autism, do you find routine comforting? If so, I was thinking maybe you can set up a routine that you and your psychologist do together each session. Something that will help you transition from out in the world, to in session ready to talk. I know for me I rely on everything being exactly the same each session and I get really thrown if something’s changed. Maybe you could do the same breathing exercise together at the start. Or begin with the same questions... Anything that’ll help you feel like you know what to expect and will help your brain switch into ‘therapy mode’.

Don’t forget too, you mentioned that your psychologist is experienced working with people with Autism, so maybe he has some good ideas of his own. Maybe tell him about this post you’ve written because it explains really clearly what you’re concerned about and wanting. It’s great that you’ve been able to write it out so clearly.

I hope this is helpful. You should be really proud of yourself for being so proactive in wanting to improve your life. Take care.

Alexlisa

Hi Alexlisa,

Thanks so much for your reply. I found it really validating and helpful.
You said, "you don’t want to become overwhelmed with putting too much pressure on yourself all at once." which made me laugh, because... that is something I am prone to doing, and you're right - it isn't very helpful. I will try to remind myself that as long as I'm trying, I don't need to be Doing Every Single Thing Possible. Moderation is not my strong point though. Maybe I need a mantra.

A comfy jumper or teddy is a great idea too. I have a stuffed toy dog that I sleep with and hug when I am stressed out, and I have wondered before about taking it to session... but I thought I might feel self conscious, or the psych might make a comment about it. I guess I could bring it up ahead of time, to see if he would be supportive... or maybe the comfy jumper would be more 'subtle'. I will ponder this!

Also, routine. Thank you, YES. I don't know how this has never occurred to me., I find routine SO helpful and comforting. I have been establishing a PRE-session routine for myself, where I get to the area about an hour early, go for a walk on the beach nearby, then park in the psychologost's carpark and colour in a colouring book while listening to helpful music, until it's time to go in. This has been helpful, but I never thought of establishing a predictable routine (involving my psychologist) for the beginning of the session itself. That would make a huge difference. I'm going to talk about it at my next appointment, and in the meantime think about what a helpful routine would look like. Thank you!

You’re so welcome! I’m glad it was helpful.

Pacing myself with my therapy work is so hard for me too. And yes, that’s why I hug a jumper too, a lot less obvious.

Good luck with it all. I hope your psychologist becomes a great ally for you, as mine is for me. Take good care.

Alexlisa