I'm new to this forum, I've decided to reach out because I can't seem to hold it together, my insides are literally hurting, I have a hernia on my esophagus, and I know stress makes it worse, which is what I mean in saying my insides literally hurt lol. I have been suffering anxiety for the past four years, so much has happened that has made the anxiety worse, I don't feel comfortable in sharing just yet, but its been a lot to take in.
I always try to help others out, i hate confrontation and have recently been in the middle of helping family members reconcile and defuse what could have been an all out family war, now that they have made up and the peace made (mostly due to my help) I am left discarded, not needed and not contacted. I always try to see the best in everyone and help others out, but no one knows how much I'm suffering inside. I know the only answer is to just take care of ME, but I can't just be like that, I wish I was not so empathetic and caring and take on others feelings.
I also work part time, I feel like I'm just not good enough for my job? (I know I must be because I've been there 9 years) but the anxiety kicks in suggesting "your not good enough, smart enough' etc, plus I suffer socially in social work situations with colleagues., I've always been an introvert/quiet person. The basic part is that I feel not SMART enough, i never completed year 12 and went to Uni, although I'm at Uni now, I often feel dumb and that I will never complete my degree so why bother!
arghh Anxiety sucks. I found this forum and it's opened my eyes to how many other people are in the same boat as me. I will share at some stage the events that have happened the last couple of years, thank you for reading