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Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Topic: Any advise?

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Foxy73
    Foxy73 avatar
    1 posts
    9 September 2020
    Hi all. I have been reading your posts & you guys are the reason I am able to reach out today - so thank you all. This is my first forum so I hope it is ok! My partner of 16 loving years is suffering depression. I am so proud of him as he is seeking treatment and trying to get well. However, I am struggling with his bad days when all he can see is the negative things. He feels lost and doesn't know what to do. He loves me and our life but thinks he should be alone. He doesn't want me to have to deal with it all. I can't seem to get through to him that I am here for him and he needs to be around people who love him. Any suggestions?
  2. Emmen
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Emmen avatar
    388 posts
    9 September 2020 in reply to Foxy73

    Hello Foxy73,

    Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out.

    It must be heartbreaking to see your partner suffering as he is. I'm glad he's seeking treatment and that he has your support.

    The best you can do for him is to stay by his side regardless of what he may say. It's normal for people with mental health concerns to feel like they are a burden on their loved ones, but it's the support of these very people that can help them get better. Reassure him that you choose to be by his side, even if it may get tiring for you to repeatedly do that. He is not rejecting your help, but in his own way, he's trying to protect you from his problems.

    Please remember to take time for yourself as well and safeguard your own mental wellbeing. Being a carer isn't easy and your partner's bad days can leave you feeling emotionally drained.

    I hope you will be able to connect with other carers in our forums and find some support in their stories as well.

    Warmly,

    M

  3. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9207 posts
    10 September 2020 in reply to Emmen
    Hi, welcome

    Its very hard to help a partner without any mental health knowledge or training.

    I would subtly introduce motivational influences like- positive thinking techniques on YouTube or lectures once covid is over.

    Google-

    YouTube maharaja prem rawat appreciate

    YouTube maharaja prem rawat the perfect instrument

    Also other threads herev-

    Beyondblue topic the timing of motivation

    Beyondblue topic distraction and variety

    Beyondblue topic being positive, what's the secret?

    Beyondblue topic talking to men- some tips

    Change takes time. I hope you get help from other sources also like therapy and group support.

    TonyWK

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