You don't need to feel silly, you're very welcome here. And it's such and great thing that you speak it out.
May I ask why under such big challenge, you're still doing full time work plus part-time tafe? If you have a dedicated life changing target that's fantastic, but would you consider to slow down a little bit? So that you don't have too much pressure.
I would encourage you to give a call to BB hotline to discuss your complex challenge. They may have some professional suggestions for you.
Regarding feeling lonely and helplessness, have you try to sit down and have a deep discussion with your partner? Or you just think he wouldn't help?
I would also suggest you to consider mental health support worker, or peer worker/peer group with lived experience. This way you'll get long term on-going support. You'll have someone/a group of people who're ready to listen, share, suggest, and walk a long way with you.
Hope everything will get better and better.