Thanks for sharing your story with us and welcome to the community here at Beyond Blue.
It is great that you have decided to open up to us all here and share how you are feeling. I certainly find it so helpful to just vent now and then and to also ask others if they can offer help and advice.
It can be really hard when you feel like your own life sucks and other people seem to be doing so well. The thing is though, that some of your friends might be having a hard time in some ways as well, they just don't tell you those bits!
I was chatting with my sister today and she was telling me how she has been to have counselling and psychological help in the past and I never knew that! I always thought she had her life so together! She just hasn't told me until today. on the other hand I share quite often when I have needed mental health help.
Regarding your 30th, do you need to do anything for your birthday or are you thinking that you have to celebrate because others do when they turn 30? You might enjoy your time better if you just go out for dinner with family or just a few close friends.
I certainly understand the comfort eating. Now and then I make a very conscious effort to eat more fruit and vegetables. Could you try to go without comfort food one day a week perhaps? Is it possible to go to a park, a beach or somewhere where you and your son can go for a walk? Even a little exercise ever couple of days might help you to get back into it again.
It sounds like you have the knowledge, you just need to find some motivation again.
On the radio the other day I heard someone say "Today is the first day of the rest of your life." It is like you can make a new day a new beginning. If you don't manage to achieve much today, then you can always try again tomorrow.
Hopefully sharing your thoughts helps you to better understand how you are feeling, so you can then work on finding solutions.
Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools