Hi all.

This is my first attempt to reach out to the Beyond Blue community. 

I don't know where to start, but lately I've been conscious that my anxiety and depression is starting to take a hold. There have been many times that I've visited this website and always backed off, afraid to go any further. I've almost logged in to a live chat, but that familiar beast in anxiety won't even let me do that. I've even spent hours tonight contemplating whether or not I should post in a forum. 

So this is me, tentatively reaching out in the hope that I can start to interact with others that may be feeling the same way, and slowly get myself the help that I know I need, but am to afraid to do so. 

This is my first step, which I'm hoping will lead to getting the help I need to live the life I know I can live.

It's already somewhat helpful to read a few of the forum posts, which have given me the courage to start looking for help. At the same time, I read other posts and think that I have it easy compared to them, so should get over myself and think myself lucky. 

Although I've been vague in this post, I hope it is enough to start me on my first steps to becoming the person I know I can be, and not the hopeless one I feel now. 

 Anyway, if you've read this far, thanks for taking the time.

Hi BrewRick, welcome

Hope you get more out of this fabulous site and organisation.

I'm 60yo now and I've had emotional struggles all my life. Then in 1987 experienced a workplace incident that raised my anxiety and subsequent depression to alarming levels. I started on the road of eliminating my anxiety.

Then in 2004 I was diagnosed incorrectly with bipolar 1 and ADHD. For 6 years I took the wrong medication. Then in 2009 I got the right diagnosis of bipolar 2, depression, dysthymia and a little anxiety. By 2012 my anxiety was not detectable at all.

My anxiety vanished due to assistance with meds and relaxation techniques. It might have taken 25 years but life is great without it. But I also acknowledged that city living wasn't helping so in 1989 I'd moved to a small country town. That helped a lot. change of environment to what you are more comfortable with helps as does other things like ridding your life of toxic people and seeking a calm friendly workplace and more suitable occupation.

Since commencing the better "right" medication in 2009 my depression has stabilised and my moods have also with the monthly hiccup. But it would be an error to seek perfection. My wife (who also has depression) and I accept that our lives have ups and downs almost daily. But we've adapted. We have implemented rules to helps us. Like-

When having an argument and one storms off we give each other time to recover. When one person feels ok he/she approaches the other asking if he/she wants a cuppa. If yes all ok and one can have a calm quiet chat. If not then the one asked if they want a cuppa must, when recovered ask the other the same. This has worked each time for us. We rarely go 30 minutes without repairing the squabble. Also neither person can leave the property...no exceptions. But neither can harass the other if they want to be left alone.

City visits are limited. Any hint of a bully appearing in our lives eg Facebook, they are blocked etc. So we seek a sanitised version of normality.

That's not to say it hasn't got its challenges. But as you can see one needs to implement strategies to carve your life towards something worth living, in your comfort zone and with only true friends and true family.

Cheers

Tony WK

Thanks for the reply Tony. I'm going to check out the forums and see if can relate to other posters. Hopefully it will give me the courage to take the next step to getting help.

Dear Brew Rick

Hello and welcome. Great to have you here and congratulations on your first posts. It's not easy to take this step and I hope you will not be disappointed.

I'm unsure how much of this site you have explored so I may be urging you to do something you have already done. There is a great deal of accurate and useful information about depression and anxiety on BB. Being well informed is a good way to start your journey back from depression. Click on the blue tabs above, Resources and The Facts, and read up everything.  Download this information or send for printed copies.

I always recommend people have a chat to their GP. Whatever worries or upsets you has a cause and your GP is a good place to start to find out.

I also suggest you make a list of all the upset feelings you have and when they occur, how well or otherwise you sleep and your interactions with others. You can give it to your GP to read and start the ball rolling that way. The conversation will be easier once you have got over the first hurdle. Be as open as possible if you want to cry. Crying is OK. I do it often and I am a grandmother.

I see you have compared yourself to others. Generally this is not a good thing to do. There will always be people who have an apparently better life than you and those who are worse off. Neither matter. Your problems are your problems and you deserve to be attended to and helped. Looking after yourself is not selfish both because you are as worthwhile as anyone else and because you will not help others by refusing help for yourself.

Keeping a stiff upper lip is also not the way to resolve your difficulties and become well. You have reached out to us here which is great. Continue to talk to us and at the same time see your doctor.

Please come back often and tell us how you are going.

Mary