welcome to beyond blue.
It sounds to me like you might overthinking things before you go to sleep. And this would be natural for anyone that is feeling stressed about things. What I had to do was to find a way to "empty" my mind of negative thoughts before sleep. My psychiatrist gave me information on "sleep hygiene" and my psychologist told (?) to install an app called "virtual hope box" on my phone, and "relax melodies" and use these before sleep. If you have a phone and are able to, I would recommend that you have a look at these.
Now while you might be shy, you were able to post here which is a big step. You might be able to use one of the following services to get help...
- Headspace, ages 12-25, also have a free online 1:1 chat here - headspace.org.au/eheadspace/
- Kids Helpline, anyone under the age of 25, have a free 1:1 chat here - kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling and a 24/7 number 1800 55 1800
The only think that I would ask you is whether you feel that you would be able to write a note, or print out your post above and give it to your parents? If not your parents, is there a teacher or counsellor at school that you could speak to?
There are many pages that give tips on gaining confidence. The only thing I will say is that it takes time, and won't happen overnight. I find that www.psychologytoday.com is an OK site to go to for information. You could check that site out for ideas on this topic.
The alternative is you talk here for a bit until you feel you are able to talk to someone?