Hi Flower Earth angel
I love your name. It conjures up such beautiful images :)
I can't imagine how hard and incredibly mind altering it would be to have narcissistic parents. Narcissism is a heck of a lot for a kid to manage, make sense of and live with. My heart goes out to you, with you having grown up with that.
I occasionally think about how cruel it seems how we can't remember the first 3 or 4 years of our life, when we were naturally our self. During these years, we are fearless from the very beginning. We didn't fear learning to crawl and walk or express our self fully through the occasional tantrum (aka as 'If you can't hear what I'm trying to tell you, let me scream it at you!'). We are wonderful, with a sense of wonder comparable to the greatest of philosophers at times. We are adventurers, always seeking to add ventures to life, not repeat the same old boring routines that leave us demanding something better than routine. We are excitement seekers, begging our parents to provide the excitement we long to feel throughout our entire being. We are visionaries, conjuring up incredible things through out imagination. Whether we even go so far as to imagine our self as a fairy or as a super hero, we may even choose to dress as one, coming as close to making it as real as possible. To the list of fearless, bold, wonderful, adventurer, excitement seeker and visionary, there is so much more to who we were, who we sometimes long to re-turn to (turn to again) to some degree.
Sometimes I take the time to wonder 'Who or what got in the way of all that? Who or what led me out of who I naturally am?' While I'm what you'd call a spiritual gal, I consider many aspects of various religions, while incorporating the positive aspects into my life. When I consider the phrase 'Born again Christian', I consider it perhaps differently from most. It's more a matter of 'Born again, Christ-like'. To come to life again while considering the nature of Christ, someone who lived through fearlessness, boldness, wonder, adding ventures to life outside the norm of the time, while bringing an energetic excitement to life as a seeker and visionary, is perhaps what it means to rediscover your self, a self that got lost along the way, while being raised by those who served themselves as opposed to serving you.
To re-member our self, put our self back together, can be one of the greatest challenges in life. To have an example through which to do it is a blessing.