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Forums / Welcome and orientation / GEtting Baptised as AN ADULT TUESDAY - Fear of being alone - 38 Female

Topic: GEtting Baptised as AN ADULT TUESDAY - Fear of being alone - 38 Female

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. Flower Earth angel
    Flower Earth angel avatar
    73 posts
    24 October 2021

    as a survivor of narcissitc abuse 

    I have made it but i still have to continue to search for a way out of some of the symptoms

    such as identity loss

    Im 38 female and now i have to go downt he road of just when i have met the man i really

    have always loved in the past again

    he doesnt appear to have teh same christian values and i dont think his gonna be

    happy when i say i want a relationship with no sexual intimacy

    he is 32 im 38

    i did not take any medications to heal or partially heal

    i wonder if the identity loss is something i have to live with

    all the therapy in the world made no difference and im ready to put complaints

    1 person found this helpful
  2. therising
    Valued Contributor
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    therising avatar
    2690 posts
    24 October 2021 in reply to Flower Earth angel

    Hi Flower Earth angel

    I love your name. It conjures up such beautiful images :)

    I can't imagine how hard and incredibly mind altering it would be to have narcissistic parents. Narcissism is a heck of a lot for a kid to manage, make sense of and live with. My heart goes out to you, with you having grown up with that.

    I occasionally think about how cruel it seems how we can't remember the first 3 or 4 years of our life, when we were naturally our self. During these years, we are fearless from the very beginning. We didn't fear learning to crawl and walk or express our self fully through the occasional tantrum (aka as 'If you can't hear what I'm trying to tell you, let me scream it at you!'). We are wonderful, with a sense of wonder comparable to the greatest of philosophers at times. We are adventurers, always seeking to add ventures to life, not repeat the same old boring routines that leave us demanding something better than routine. We are excitement seekers, begging our parents to provide the excitement we long to feel throughout our entire being. We are visionaries, conjuring up incredible things through out imagination. Whether we even go so far as to imagine our self as a fairy or as a super hero, we may even choose to dress as one, coming as close to making it as real as possible. To the list of fearless, bold, wonderful, adventurer, excitement seeker and visionary, there is so much more to who we were, who we sometimes long to re-turn to (turn to again) to some degree.

    Sometimes I take the time to wonder 'Who or what got in the way of all that? Who or what led me out of who I naturally am?' While I'm what you'd call a spiritual gal, I consider many aspects of various religions, while incorporating the positive aspects into my life. When I consider the phrase 'Born again Christian', I consider it perhaps differently from most. It's more a matter of 'Born again, Christ-like'. To come to life again while considering the nature of Christ, someone who lived through fearlessness, boldness, wonder, adding ventures to life outside the norm of the time, while bringing an energetic excitement to life as a seeker and visionary, is perhaps what it means to rediscover your self, a self that got lost along the way, while being raised by those who served themselves as opposed to serving you.

    To re-member our self, put our self back together, can be one of the greatest challenges in life. To have an example through which to do it is a blessing.

    :)

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Flower Earth angel
    Flower Earth angel avatar
    73 posts
    24 October 2021 in reply to therising

    hi thanku havnt read it all yet

    but it was my ex who was narcissitic

  4. therising
    Valued Contributor
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    therising avatar
    2690 posts
    24 October 2021 in reply to Flower Earth angel

    Hi Flower Earth angel

    My apologies to your parents :)

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Flower Earth angel
    Flower Earth angel avatar
    73 posts
    25 October 2021 in reply to therising

    its ok thankyou

    baptism tmrw im just at home thinking of my crush

    had mt trauma counsellor today

    1 person found this helpful
  6. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    6176 posts
    25 October 2021 in reply to Flower Earth angel

    hello. I hope your session with the trauma counselor went ok today.

    And good luck for tomorrow.

    All that can be asked is that you are true to yourself.

    Listening to you.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    2690 posts
    26 October 2021 in reply to Flower Earth angel

    HI Flower Earth angel

    Hoping you have a beautiful day today and that you feel your connection to the divine through this special day of yours.

    May guidance come to you in many ways.

    :)

    1 person found this helpful

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