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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Getting Older

Topic: Getting Older

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. NormaG
    NormaG avatar
    1 posts
    7 April 2018
    Hi.. I'm Norma... getting older isn't always easy, and sometimes the people you think will be supportive are just not there for you .. Isolation comes in many forms... but I've found the most difficult times are when you're feeling down, and need motivation... How does everyone cope with this dilemma?
    2 people found this helpful
  2. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    7 April 2018 in reply to NormaG

    Hi NormaG,

    Welcome to the community here, it does not matter how old or young you are, everyone is welcome, appreciated and accepted just as they are.

    Would you like to share some specific situations where you feel the most let down or unmotivated? Some of us may be able to come up with some ideas and solutions for you.

    It is not at all easy when you have feelings of isolation and lack of motivation, or when yo feel people are just not there for you.

    I cope by trying to find different ways of doing things. Tomorrow at Church I am going to ask a couple of ladies if they would like to join me in coffee in a café on Tuesday and see what happens. If no one is free, than I will go myself and include it with a trip to the local plant nursery and library.

    Our local library has all kinds of groups using the facilities these days including a Scrabble Group, writers group, craft group and so on.

    A point about people, not everyone understands mental health issues or getting older for that matter. Sometimes we have to spell things out clearly. There will always be people who just don't get it.

    Hope you feel comfortable here NormaG and please know you are welcome to join in anywhere on the forum!

    Cheers from Dools

  3. Just Sara
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    Just Sara avatar
    3398 posts
    7 April 2018 in reply to NormaG

    Hi Norma and welcome to our caring BB community;

    Yes I agree, getting older in this day and age has its downside. How is it affecting your sense of self? I used to feel the bite of isolation pretty hard, but I've warmed to it over time.

    I'm wondering if your health has a lot to do with how you're feeling. Mine isn't what it could be and scares me sometimes thinking what would happen if I fell and hurt myself. I carry my phone all the time due to this.

    Mrs D (Dools, above) has hit on an important point; company and social connections help to take the strain of feeling alone. It can be a little intimidating to start with, but persevering can help to overcome insecurities. Having this 'social equity' or 'social capital' is like an investment in your life; it pays long term dividends if you're willing to go the distance.

    (Sorry to sound so cliche', it's a habit formed thru writing on here so often)

    I'm wondering if you've spoken to your GP about how you feel. They may have something to offer in terms of resources in your area, or a counsellor to talk with face to face. You can call Lifeline 131411 and BeyondBlue Crisis Chatline 1300 22 46 36 when another voice in the room would be appreciated. I do this sometimes to fend off worries and concerns.

    You can also continue writing here as you have to connect to others online as well as your offline life. Another forum which might suit you quite well is 'Sane Australia'. Their forum's really social at times even though it's a mental health forum, so sign up there too and see what you think. :-)

    I hope I've helped hun. You seem an intelligent and vital woman and deserve to feel connected and needed. Keep in contact and tell us more about who you are and what you want.

    My sincerest kind thoughts;

    Sez

  4. geoff
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    geoff avatar
    16440 posts
    8 April 2018 in reply to NormaG
    Hi Norma, it's nice to welcome you to the site.

    Many thanks to Dools and Sez for their replies, and without any doubt getting old is something I was told about by my grandmother when she said 'one day you will be like this' when she was suffering from arthritis, needed a walking stick and couldn't open up a new jar of marmalade.

    I said 'no' I won't, look at me, I'm 6 years old and can do anything, however she was right, it just happened so quickly, and now I can't open the jar of marmalade, need a walking stick and ask my sons to carefully shake my hand.

    How our life changes when our kids live on their own, have children and we can't talk with them, they're too busy and will ring you back.

    I tell them that one day they will be no different to me, asking their kids what to do on the new computer, how to operate the complex TV system and however the meals are cooked or even drive their cars through the sky, who knows.

    My Best Wishes.

    Geoff.
  5. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    Doolhof avatar
    8853 posts
    8 April 2018 in reply to NormaG

    Hi NormaG,

    Just dropping by again. I've been thinking about one of the most beautiful friends I have had in my life and she was a dear precious lady who was decades older than my Mum.

    This lady welcomed me into her home and showed me so much love like I have never experienced before or since. I learnt so much from her.

    I will always have a place in my heart to remember this dear precious woman who was so special to me. It was a heart breaking day when she died, I lost such a treasured friend. Our age difference had no bearing on the care we had for each other.

    Cheers from Dools

    1 person found this helpful

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