Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Research 

Forums / Welcome and orientation / Having trouble to keep on going, I’ve fallen behind and can’t catch up

Topic: Having trouble to keep on going, I’ve fallen behind and can’t catch up

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Timhamz
    Timhamz avatar
    1 posts
    10 October 2019
    Hey my name is tim I’m a 40 year old male from Perth. This is my first time reaching out on here. I separated from my wife about 20 months ago. We have 3 beautiful kids and a mortgage that we once shared. I have found a new partner who is amazing and supportive. Since I separated from my wife I’ve had a really hard time keeping up with life. I’ve found it hard to hold down a job and hence have fallen way behind on credit card repayments, bills and even my mortgage. I’ve developed huge social anxieties, to the point where I can’t even reach out to financial services that I owe money to, to ask for help. I am afraid I’ll lose the house I built for my family. My current partner is supportive and hard working and I feel I’m not living up to my side of the deal. I was in a lot of debt when we first got together and now I’ve fallen way behind. I have several default notices but I can’t bring myself to get these sorted out. I can’t make a simple phone call. I can’t ask for help. I feel I’ve let every one down and I’m not worthy of the love I receive from family and friends. Are there any others out there that have experienced the same situation? I’ve heard that there tends to be a cycle that makes go through after a divorce. I’m having a hard time breaking the cycle and moving onto the next stage of my life.
  2. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    2915 posts
    10 October 2019 in reply to Timhamz

    Welcome to beyond blue.

    I cannot say that I have had a similar experience to you, but I can listen and some of what you have said I am familiar with in other people in my circles.

    I also know from my own experience that depression and anxiety can make us think the worst of ourselves as you have said about yourself as being undeserving. I can understand that you would be worried about your financial situation given everything that has happened to you. Perhaps a fear of the unknown or thinking the worst things that could happen. That is how my mind works anyway.

    Not sure if you know about the national debt helpline who can give you free advice about your debts. The good thing here they don't have any investment in getting money from you.

    I have responded to only a few people here about financial matters, but you are not the first and will not be the last. There are ways forward, whether dealing with anxiety or money or both. And I will listen to you.

  3. Desedrata
    Desedrata avatar
    67 posts
    11 October 2019 in reply to Timhamz


    I use to have and still occasionally get anxiety when getting/recieving phone calls and have trouble when payments go awry. The companies you are dealing with may have e-mail addresses in which you can contact them either on the bills or their website. You may be able to send them an e-mail apologising and explaining your circumstances and your willingness to communicate via the e-mails about organising a new payment plan until your situation improves.

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

Sign me up