Welcome to beyond blue.
I cannot say that I have had a similar experience to you, but I can listen and some of what you have said I am familiar with in other people in my circles.
I also know from my own experience that depression and anxiety can make us think the worst of ourselves as you have said about yourself as being undeserving. I can understand that you would be worried about your financial situation given everything that has happened to you. Perhaps a fear of the unknown or thinking the worst things that could happen. That is how my mind works anyway.
Not sure if you know about the national debt helpline who can give you free advice about your debts. The good thing here they don't have any investment in getting money from you.
I have responded to only a few people here about financial matters, but you are not the first and will not be the last. There are ways forward, whether dealing with anxiety or money or both. And I will listen to you.