Hi,

I am 54, male and have walked a thin line with depression and anxiety for some time. It came to a head some 23 years ago when in my previous employment in a bank I was involved in a hold up. I fell down a huge hole that took some time to climb out, thanks to my wife, family and support I am here today.

Lately I feel that I am falling in that hole again, pressure from work and high stress levels both at work and home is slowly getting to me.

Stress of short of income and family concerns as my son is fighting for custody for his beautiful daughter is not helping me.

I am thinking more and more of the "what ifs"...

I seem to always be wrong ...... and I am starting to doubt my own decisions both at work and home.

I just need to chat :)

Hi Derek and welcome!

That’s such a tough spot to be in. I have a couple of ideas which you may have already tried but if not, some food for thought:

- seeking a new job.

- taking sick leave from your current workplace (no one needs to know specifics, only that you are unwell and need to take care of yourself).

- getting a doctors referral to see a psychologist so you will have as little out of pocket expenses as possible.

- taking up an activity (such as a sport or something of interest away from work and family) that will take you away from the stressors, even if only for a short time.

What kind of “what ifs” have been going through your mind? I’m happy to continue chatting if you are up for it :)

Derekdomino,

I too welcome you to the forum. This is a friendly place with lots of support.

You must have put in a big effort to climb out of the dark hole after the bank hold up.

I understand how unsettling it is to feel you are maybe falling down again.

I wonder if you can use the skills, strategies, and support that helped you last time.

When I am stressed I know I start doubting myself and find it almost impossible to make a decision.

You have so much going on . Would you consider talking to a counsellor or your doctor.

Feel free if you and to chat and continue the discussion.

Quirky

Wow, thank you MissBenthos for your kind words.

Finding a new job is on the my agenda but it is hard as I am self employed with my own business so to walk away from this current industry will be a little overwhelming. I do manage my days and have early days to just chill and sit in my safe and comfortable place at home to sit and breathe or even to read. Reading is and always has been my escape pod.

I have been walking with depression for so long that I am attuned to my actions as to is my wife and we do chat about my feelings and how she can help. But as I am sure that you know, there is still lots that I keep to myself.

I last saw a psychologist it must be close to seven years ago and they help and I will venture back in time when needed.

I am hoping that for the moment that maybe chatting to you guys will help...

Hi quirkywords,

thank you for your comfort.

I do put in practice the breathing techniques and find solace in my safe place to breathe and relax and I do chat to my wife and those around me.

At this point I just want to chat and obtain thoughts and ideas that I know will help.

thank you for taking the time for a chat.

I try not to be as closed as I use to be, but I know that there is a lot that I am not verbally expressing and my actions can be very misleading at times.

Thanks DerekDomino for your reply.

Chatting is helpful here.

Also you may if you want, browse through some of the topics that interest you.

I am not sure if you have tried Mindfulness?

Below is a long thread. You can just look at the most recent or dip in and out to find posts that interest you.

Forums / Staying well / Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)

Just a thought.

Quirky