Firstly, welcome and secondly, congratulations on taking this step. Be proud that you've reached out and taken that action.
I'm sorry things have come to such a stand still for you.
If you haven't already, I think you should go to your gp and talk to them about your option, I know you said you have trouble opening up, maybe you can show the Dr your post?
Have you considered joining a group? Like if you like walking maybe there's a walking group you can join. Similar interests can help bond people together.
I'm sorry that you don't have an support right now and that you feel like you can't reach out to the people in your life. Youre always welcome to reach out here. Though it is important to note that I'm not a professional, merely another person struggling with mental health.
I wish I could be of more help,
Post back when and if you can