Der Okberty~
I'd like to join Sophie_M in welcoming you here.
There was a phrase you said in your post that stuck in my mind
"not standing up for myself which has forced me to take an action at work that contradicts my own values"
Now that makes me think of two things, two good, one not as good.
The good things are you are a person who in normal circumstances can stand up for herself on occasion, and the second is you are an ethical human being with personal values . Not everyone is like that.
The not so good thing is you have fallen into a trap, understandable as you are new to all this, I did too. You are judging yourself by everyday standards you would have used before you became so oppressed by the Covid restrictions.
Worry,frustration loneliness, overwork, people who you thought were freinds not living up to your expectations with not easy end to matters in sight put an awful lot of people into a mindframe as you have now. If you are like me you even start to doubt your own worth and as it seems to go on forever love motivation and the ability to enjoy the things one did before.
That's why Sophie_M's recommendations are good ones.
It is also pretty good you are being proactive and seeking outside perspective and outside assistance
Please let us know how you get on,we are here and you are not alone
Croix