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Topic: Hi

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. CapK
    CapK avatar
    1 posts
    16 July 2021

    Hi there,

    I don’t know how to start. It has been hard few years. A lot has happened. A family member attempted suicide. A family member died. A family member got in lots of life issues. I am the “rock”of the family and I have been the responser to all this.

    I have been having panic attacks for over a year. I can’t sleep well

    I started having thoughts a few months back.
    I just want it to stop

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5927 posts
    16 July 2021 in reply to CapK
    Hi CapK,

    We are so sorry to hear about what you're going through and for your loss; it sounds like it has been a tough time. Thank you for being part of our forums, it takes a lot of courage to reach out for support. We hope that you can get some support here, the community will be here to listen and chat with you. You can also reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14.
  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15298 posts
    16 July 2021 in reply to CapK

    Hello CapK, and a warm welcome to the site.

    When you are in a situation like what you have told us, the years are definitely difficult to cope with and to try and understand why any of this happens, you struggle to find an answer which you are unable to sort out, and to be the rock, you need to try and interrupt what's happening around you, or as someone has spoken to about.

    This is certainly not easy and fear situations you feel required to be involved in, just as much as you only wished you didn't have to, but never the less take on this responsibility.

    I am so terribly sorry for what's happened and being the rock, doesn't mean you have the answers to help these people, sure they may want to talk to you and in your endeavour to help them, you have done the very best you could to try and guide them, but they need to consult someone who is experienced in mental health, then that's how you can then support them.

    Now it's time you need to look after yourself because trying to be the rock has affected you in many ways, your sleep, panic attacks and whatever else may be happening that you're not aware of, but affecting you in different ways which now means you need to consult with your doctor.

    You have to stop being the rock, because what you say may not be your best advice only because you aren't well enough, and even listening still puts you in the same position.

    I'm just wondering whether you are able to move away while you are getting the help you need and if you are working then ask your doctor for some time off so you can get yourself back to how you were originally, except for the assistance you have provided.

    Please get back to us when you're available.


  4. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    2183 posts
    16 July 2021 in reply to CapK

    Hi CapK

    I feel for you so deeply in all you've had to face over the past few years. So many mind altering life changing challenges in such a short amount of time. I am led to wonder who raises the raiser of others. Who raises you as you're raising the consciousness and spirits of others during a time where others are trying to make better sense of things in their own lives?

    I'm wondering whether you can relate to the realisation when we may come to see our self as 'a rock' who is also 'a sponge'. It's like you can be that solid structure for others and then realise that you're also absorbing everyone's stress and upset at the same time. I'm wondering if you've had a moment or 2 when you've thought or screamed internally 'GIVE ME SOME INSPIRATION TO ABSORB! GIVE ME SOME POSITIVITY AND GUIDANCE TO ABSORB, FOR A CHANGE! WHAT ABOUT ME!!!'

    While being 'in charge', how would you say others have been charging you up? Yep, from rocks to sponges to batteries. Have the situations and people around you been charging up your mind and your nervous system to the point of hyper activity? Would you say you deserve a break, perhaps a holiday, so you can both discharge (vent in some way) and recharge through a balance of quite activity and relaxation? I believe you deserve having everyone raise money as a thank you gift (a holiday) so you can recharge your batteries, so that you're don't find yourself at some point running on empty.

    What do you feel you deserve or desperately need at this point, after all your attentiveness over the past few years? From what you say, it wouldn't surprise me if you've forgotten how 'relaxed' actually feels (both physically and mentally).


  5. Gilli W-E
    Gilli W-E avatar
    2 posts
    16 July 2021 in reply to therising

    Hi CapK

    It certainly does take a lot of courage to reach out and I'm so glad that you have. I'm sure that you will find so many beautiful people on this forum who want to support you through this tough time. Hang in there :)

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