G'day Hollow Me,
Welcome to beyondblue forums.
Just thinking out loud here for you...
The original post you've put up is emotionally descriptive. I get what you're saying about your feelings and I don't even know you at all.
How about printing out your post and giving it to your family over dinner one day?
Those words are real, I reckon your family will understand them. You won't have to speak those words out loud, they're written down. When you go into practical or defense mode during that conversation your family will see how honest you are. During that chat you can freeze up like an ice queen or blubber your eyes out or whatever and still be honest and loving showing whatever you feel.
Here is a motivating question...
If you stay an ice queen forever what effect would that have on your children and family?
Use your anxiety about your worst-case answer to that question as a reason to do something about your situation.
Once emotionally unrestrained you will still be able to switch back to restrained, if that makes sense. I mean, we all start crying and stop crying, we fall apart and pull ourselves together again. So cracking your ice doesn't mean you can't go back to being icey, instead sure you can, you can be icey, cold, cool, neutral, warm or hot! And switch between them as you need or feel.
Maybe by showing how ice queen you feel your family might warm up and thaw you out.