Welcome to the community here on the forum. Sorry to read about your life situation at present.
Are you safe where you are? Are there organisations or people who can help you or have you tried all of that already?
This forum is a safe place to be. There are many sections here too, the social zone has some light hearted topics you might like to join in with.
You are very welcome here. Please come here and chat away any time you like.
Cheers to you from Dools