Hi all

I'm new here. I just wanted to say g'day and just needed a place to express what I'm feeling.

I have been battling mental health issues for over twenty years, engaging with many psychologists over this time. The issues have been with me for as long as I remember and I'm in my forties. I've been misdiagnosed several times and have stopped labelling my experience as anything other than an episode.

I'm feeling slightly nervous about being admitted to hospital today for the sixth time. At the same time I'm noticing all the usual unpleasant emotions I experience on admission are not there. Except perhaps feeling a shyness to tell the Psychs what I know I am finally ready to admit.

I've noticed pleasant emotions. This feels uncomfortable oddly, perhaps because I haven't allowed myself to do so for a long time. I'm feeling loved and supported both by others and myself. I am curious, hopeful, determined, strong and proud.

I was admitted to this facility for a month last year, it was the first time I allowed myself to be vulnerable in front of group sessions. My self awareness grew exponentially. I felt safe to feel unpleasant emotions while I was there. I used music, journalling and exercise, swaying and rocking in my room to calm myself after.

I'm sitting typing this with dance music on so I don't feel odd rocking and swaying to alleviate my anxiety. It's working a treat, I don't feel like a doofus and it feels like a nice big internal hug.

I'm being super kind and loving towards myself. I am telling me I have done the hard yards and it is paying off, a few more won't hurt. The other troubles in my life have been parked for revisiting at a later date. This time is for me to work on me.

I hope everyone else remembers to give themself a big internal hug today : )

Hi Jorge1,

What a wonderful post. Thanks so much for the reminder to give myself an internal hug. Its a really nice phrase to encourage self-love.

I'm full of joy for you. I'm glad you feel that love and support. It is funny how we can surprise ourselves, but in a way it should be no surprise, you have done the hard yards as you say.

Sounds like your last experience in the facility was really positive. I'm glad you found a place that can offer support and allows for vulnerability. Vulnerability is so important. I think a lot of mental anguish come from hiding and feelings of shame.

It sounds like you are coming to a few great realisations of late - admitting something you feel ready to, seeing your condition as episodes rather than identifying heavily with a diagnosis.

I just want to send my love straight back to you as well. Seems like you have been blessed with a great inner strength.

Here to chat.

Hello Jorge1 Thankyou for your post and welcome,

You have definitely come to the right place. Great to hear that you have engaged with many psychologists
I understand how your feeling but it can be a very positive and beneficial thing for your health.
I personally believe strong self awareness aids the healing process as does being kind and loving towards yourself.

I will definitely give myself a big internal hug today :)
All the best and I hope you find the support you are looking for. We are all here to help.

Hi Jorge1,

My close family member has been battling with depression and anxiety for close to 20 years, so I felt personal about your post. Great effort to let yourself in vulnerable situation with others. A huge step! I just want to give you an air hug. Take care.

Jorge

welcome to the forum and thanks for your encouraging post and for your honesty in expressing your feelings.

I am pleased you are being super kind and loving towards your self.

we are listening to you.

Happy Asian, welcome to the forum and thanks for using your first post to give support to Jorge.