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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Hi I'm new here, I have depression and I am also struggling with lockdown.

Topic: Hi I'm new here, I have depression and I am also struggling with lockdown.

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. ayoen
    ayoen avatar
    4 posts
    21 July 2021

    I don't know exactly how to word this, it's my first time posting here so I'll try my best.

    I've been struggling with mental health issues for years now. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in my late teens but in the last 10 or so years I've found that I don't feel like that diagnosis fits me exactly. I do have depression and anxiety and when my mental health is very bad I do tend to experience paranoia and social anxiety. I've found in the past year my symptoms have gotten worse due to covid lockdowns and I've been crying and feeling very helpless. I don't have many friends at all and am no contact with family, out of the few friends I have there is one person who is very kind and helpful but they also have their own issues and I don't like to feel like a burden to them. I thought I was doing so well in the last year but it's just all come crashing down for me in the last 3 months or so and I'm just exhausted and fed up with feeling sad all the time.

    I hope that I'm not rambling too much here, I also don't want to give too many identifying details away in my post as I'd like to remain anonymous, if that makes sense. I hope that I can find someone to talk to here in the forum or on the phone line when I eventually have the courage to call.

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5893 posts
    21 July 2021 in reply to ayoen
    Hi ayoen,

    We are so sorry to hear about what you're going through; it sounds like it has been a tough time. Thank you for being part of our forums, it takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for support and we are so glad that you have done so. We hope that you can get some support here, the community will be here to listen and chat with you. You can also reach out to Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline 13 11 14. 
    1 person found this helpful
  3. ayoen
    ayoen avatar
    4 posts
    21 July 2021 in reply to Sophie_M
    Thank you very much for your quick response and welcome, I look forward to interacting and sharing with this community.
  4. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15268 posts
    21 July 2021 in reply to ayoen

    Hello Ayoen, and welcome to the site and no you aren't rambling on, it's great to hear from you.

    With much appreciation, you will remain anonymous and no details of who you are or any details will be posted to give yourself away, so you'll be known only as your username and nothing more.

    These lockdowns need to happen, so as to stop the spread of this virus, but this doesn't stop everyone from feeling comfortable as there could be much we all would love to do but are unable to, and because of this it can create many different feelings, or perhaps, side-effects to our own worth in life, but in one way or another, we will get through it if we all try and help not only ourselves but the people we love.

    People suffering from any type of depression may not mind these lockdowns as they don't have to try and integrate with other people, while others are entitled to be annoyed as it may stop the counselling they feel they are progressing in, but it doesn't stop trying to help people on sites like this.

    We're pleased you have joined the forums because not only can we try and help you, but you can also gain by reading the many other comments that have been posted.

    Good to have you Ayoen.

    Geoff.

    2 people found this helpful
  5. ayoen
    ayoen avatar
    4 posts
    21 July 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff, thank you for your response, I appreciate your supportive and kind words.

    I have to admit that you're right, at first I did not mind the lockdowns as I didn't have to deal with people and viewed it all as having a break, but in time it did affect being able to see my psychologist face to face. I prefer that than speaking over the phone.

    So far what I've seen in posts and comments has been quite helpful and I hope to become a more contributing member in the future.

    I hope you're having a great day. 😊

    Ayoen

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Miz
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Miz avatar
    49 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to ayoen

    Hi ayoen,

    I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling like this. Firstly, I want to say thanks for posting and starting a conversation - it's really great to hear from you, especially when we're going through a lockdown and it's really hard to have any social contact at all.

    I know that these lockdowns are really, really tough - it's important to know that it's absolutely okay to feel helpless, lonely and upset. It can be so hard being cut off from the real world and not being able to see the people who support you - like your psychologist. For many people, social isolation can make depression and anxiety a lot worse. At the moment, maybe try taking things day by day and reach out to people online to have some social contact. I know it's easy to feel like a burden but remember that everyone is feeling pretty lonely at the moment and most people will be really happy to chat - even just for a few minutes a day. Even a little bit of social contact can help us feel better.

    Happy to chat more if you like, you're always welcome in these online forums and someone will always be around to talk :)

    A x

  7. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Sleepy21 avatar
    4153 posts
    23 July 2021 in reply to ayoen

    hi ayoen

    welcome to the forums! i relate to having a diagnosis and not knowing if it fits you, sometimes its hard to understand all the medical lingo and the descriptions they put on us.
    Thank for writing here nd sharing how you're going, its not easy to do, so well done.! i've been here or about 1.5 years and have found it extremely helpful, you meet others here who identify and have experienced similar things, and no one will judge.

    i think i can understand wht you're saying regarding feeling like a burden when ur friend has issues of their own to manage. i feel like that during lockdown, i hate and struggle with it, but imagine that i'm in no place to tell my friends that, they're likely the same or worse. I'm always feeling like i'm intruding.

    it took me a long time to get the courage to tell friends how hard i found lockdown. a simple opener i use is "i'm struggling" - i try and show some vulernability with those words.

    Being anonymous here is fairly prudent - some ppl use a fake name for themselves, or their significant other, and don't say exactly where they live. That said, general details are fine eg you can talk about ur day at work or ur family in general without names or identifying features. it's all up to u :)

    Hope u have a welcoming tme in the forum and find it helpful x

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