Hello Ayoen, and welcome to the site and no you aren't rambling on, it's great to hear from you.
With much appreciation, you will remain anonymous and no details of who you are or any details will be posted to give yourself away, so you'll be known only as your username and nothing more.
These lockdowns need to happen, so as to stop the spread of this virus, but this doesn't stop everyone from feeling comfortable as there could be much we all would love to do but are unable to, and because of this it can create many different feelings, or perhaps, side-effects to our own worth in life, but in one way or another, we will get through it if we all try and help not only ourselves but the people we love.
People suffering from any type of depression may not mind these lockdowns as they don't have to try and integrate with other people, while others are entitled to be annoyed as it may stop the counselling they feel they are progressing in, but it doesn't stop trying to help people on sites like this.
We're pleased you have joined the forums because not only can we try and help you, but you can also gain by reading the many other comments that have been posted.
Good to have you Ayoen.