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Forums / Welcome and orientation / I'm a mum of three

Topic: I'm a mum of three

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Mum of three!
    Mum of three! avatar
    1 posts
    15 July 2019
    Hi I'm a mother of three
    My father was diagnosed with cancer around 5 and a half
    Months ago the same time my third child was born
    I have always struggled with my mental health but I'm so worried that if I go to my Gp they will see me as an unfit mother and I'm really unsure of what I can do but my mental health is continuously causing problems in my relationship with my kids dad/partner and I'm at a dead end
    Thank you for taking the time to read this
    2 people found this helpful
  2. Peppermintbach
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Peppermintbach avatar
    4566 posts
    15 July 2019 in reply to Mum of three!

    Hi Mum of three,

    I know that you’re struggling very much, & it sounds like you have been struggling for some time too. I feel some of it through your writing. You sound overwhelmed and nervous, & understandably so...

    I’m very sorry about your father’s recent diagnosis. I feel the timing, which coincided with the birth of your 3rd child, must have elicited some conflicting & difficult emotions...

    I think your children clearly mean the world to you, & even in that 1 paragraph, I can tell you really want to be there for them. I think that’s beautiful...

    I’m not a doctor, but I think it’s very unlikely that your GP will deem you “unfit” to parent if you present with mental health issues. If anything, I think it would show that you’re someone who wants to take care of yourself by seeing your doctor, so you can be in the best possible headspace for yourself & therefore, your kids.

    If it helps, I know there are many other forum members who are parents here. Many of which have seen their GPs about their mental health issues, and generally they are just assessed & possibly given a mental health care plan.

    I don’t know the specifics of your situation. But speaking purely as a peer (& not as a health professional), I think it‘s relatively rare for a GP to “report” a parent. I suspect it applies more to circumstances related to abuse, neglect, other extenuating circumstances, etc.

    Generally speaking, most parents who struggle with their mental health are perfectly capable of taking care of their kids, & I think doctors recognise & know this. I hope this helps reassure you a little.

    Thanks so much for bravely reaching out here. If you’re feeling up to it, it would be lovely to hear how you’re doing. But no rush or pressure of course, just when and if you feel like sharing some more about yourself.

    Kind & caring thoughts,

    Pepper

    1 person found this helpful
  3. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14343 posts
    15 July 2019 in reply to Mum of three!

    Mum of three,

    Welcome to the forum.

    You have a lot to cope with with and I am sorry about your dad’s diagnosis.

    I can understand you worrying about what the GP maybthink but they are their to help you. the fact you are seeking help means you are a mum who cares about her children as you want to get better.

    I am also a mum of three children who are now adults and I have lived with bipolar for over 40 years. I remember when my children were young that people were judging me but when I reached out for help it became easier.

    Having three young children can be stressful but on top of that you have your mental health issues and your sick dad. That is a lot to cope with.

    Do you get on well with your GP and feel comfortable talking to the GP.? Doctors want to help you and will not judge but be pleased you are seeking help.

    By writing your post here you will help people reading this who are in a similar situation.

    You are not alone and there is support for you.

    If you want to discuss things more feel free to post here as much as you like.

    Well done for writing this post .

    Quirky

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