hi :)
recently, I've been finding it hard to get out of bed and leave the house.
For the past almost two weeks, I've been asleep until 10, gone on my phone for 2 hours, then watched Netflix for the next 12 hours- and repeat. The weather has been beautiful, and I really want to leave the house and go out for walks and actually live my life. However, I haven't been able to leave the house. The last time I went out with my friend, two old male tradies tried to lure us into a construction site to "help them work". Another four older men stared at my friend and I's bodies as we walked past, making us feel super uncomfortable. This may sound like nothing but to me, it was absolutely terrifying. middle-aged men were staring at a couple of teenage girls' bodies. I felt like a piece of meat. The next day, I left the house to go for a walk as I usually did every day before, and I was out for 10 minutes until I felt like everyone was staring at me, judging my body and the way I look. I felt as though everyone was thinking about how ugly I am, how the shirt I was wearing made me look huge- just crap like that. so I kept my head down and walked home as fast as I could, and I haven't been on a walk since.
My parents are calling me lazy because I don't do anything all day. The truth is I'm not bothered to do anything. Things that I used to love to do seem like so much effort now, like reading, drawing, going for walks, or seeing my friends. I want to go out and live my life but I'm trapped in this bubble and can't get out.
Is this behaviour normal or am I just being dramatic?
To those of you that actually sat there and read through all of that, I salute you, congrats. Thank you <3
- may