We wish you warm welcome to the forums and we want to thank you for reaching out tonight. We are sorry to hear that you are struggling with intrusive thoughts, and it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment with working out who you are within your relationship.
It can be useful to unpack these feelings and to talk to someone directly about ways to approach our identity, our relationships and our thoughts. As you mention that you are young, the best first stop for someone to speak to, would be our friends at Kids Help Line on 1800 55 1800.
If you feel like you are no longer safe or that you may act on these thoughts, this would be an emergency and we would encourage you to call 000.
Please keep us updated as to how you are going and welcome again.