Hello, my name is Abbi. I’m 17 years old and I have finally reached a point where I don’t want to deal with life anymore. I have struggled with mental health issues a bit in the past but I was able to overcome them and put it behind me. However, this year has been incredibly difficult with keeping the dark thoughts at bay. I am unable to sleep without a constant noise playing (like a fan) as I find it distracts my mind. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I can’t focus in school.
For all I my life I have been governed by my parents as I am under 18. I hate not being able to have control over my own life and have decisions made for me. I am not trying to be rebellious or anything like that, I just simply want to be in charge of my own life.
Something that I love to do is drive. It is the only time when I feel in control. Unfortunately, my parents don’t understand just how much it means to me and will take away the opportunity when it just happens to be at the time I need it most. It is incredibly difficult for me to sit in the car with my sister driving, especially because she is a new driver and is very irresponsible and speeds all the time. Yet that is what I am forced to do and I don’t have any input whatsoever.
Everybody thinks I’m okay because I put on a happy facade and smile through the pain. I don’t want to tell anyone about what I’m dealing with for fear they won’t take me seriously.
Anyway, I’m sorry for this vent but I just needed to tell someone...even if it’s only on a website 😊