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Forums / Welcome and orientation / I’m new and nervous

Topic: I’m new and nervous

  1. LQ23
    LQ23 avatar
    20 posts
    3 November 2019 in reply to Aaronsis
    Hi AS I was feeling a little better today but something has taken over me now - I’ve just thought about my daughter and the consequences it will have for her - she has a great job at her old school part time is at Uni studying and I’m about to ruin her life like I’ve done to myself - I hope that people don’t let this affect her - I’m so worried now and feel like it’s all hopeless
  2. Aaronsis
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Aaronsis avatar
    390 posts
    3 November 2019 in reply to LQ23

    Hi LQ23

    I am so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed with the thoughts about what is going to happen when your daughter finds out...can I suggest a few things and I am not sure what you think but firstly your daughter knows you very very well and also is an adult, she will see that you have made a mistake, she will see that you have done everything that you can to make amends for your actions and that you are both very sorry and very remorseful for what you have done...but this is not who you are as a person, this one mistake does not define the rest of your life or who you are as a person, you are still her mother whom she loves. I also want to say that although you are her mother, your mistakes are not her mistakes, just as her mistakes are not yours. You can be there to support each other but usually people are quite reasonable and understand that this really has nothing to do with her and therefore should have no recourse on her. I hear how panicked you are by this but she is an adult and will understand that you have made a mistake, I think I may have mentioned this before too, I think it would be great if you are able to be the one to tell her, I think she will receive this information if she feels like you can show her the place she has in your life and that you want to let her know what you have done. It would be hard I would think for her to hear it from someone else and wonder why you didn't tell her.

    I hope that you are able to get a hug off your parents today and take a moment to breathe and be kind to you. You have so very much going on and I am glad you are in a place of love and support.

    Hugs to you LQ23

    AS

  3. LQ23
    LQ23 avatar
    20 posts
    5 November 2019 in reply to Aaronsis
    Hi AS it’s like the walls are closing in today. My husband is supporting me but said he has to look after our daughter as well. For the first time I reality has set in and I feel that I will be going to jail! I deserve too for what I have e done - I am not a bad person or am I? It’s like a haze and a fuzzy cloud and it won’t go away - I want to so bad try and make it up to the people I have let down especially my old job whom I stole off. It’s just such a mess
  4. monkey_magic
    monkey_magic avatar
    2497 posts
    5 November 2019 in reply to LQ23

    Hi LQ23,

    I hope u don't mind me posting.

    I don't think you're a bad person. I think you're a good person that's made a mistake. You are willing to make up for your mistake, show remorse and care.

    Are you sure you will do jail time over this instead of say community service. I'm not all that experienced with the justice system but I really hope they go easy on you. As you've said you're willing to pay it back.

    I know it's stressful but take some breaths and keep practicing the self care that you're doing.

    I wish u all the best and I hope for the best possible outcome for you.

  5. Ben.L
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ben.L avatar
    38 posts
    5 November 2019 in reply to LQ23
    Sorry to hear this is happening stay positive
  6. MyLadyGirl
    MyLadyGirl avatar
    124 posts
    5 November 2019 in reply to LQ23

    Hi LQ23,

    Don't think that your action will impact your daughter. Your daughter is wise and she is there supporting you. She is happily living and earning her money. She is caring to you. Please recall me, as you said she is aware and she has not done anything opposite but being there to you. It shows that she love you alot and do not want you to be upset and be down. Making you realise your mistake shows you a great mother you are and a role model to her.

  7. LQ23
    LQ23 avatar
    20 posts
    9 November 2019 in reply to Aaronsis
    Hi AS today I am feeling a bit anxious my sister is coming to visit me - we haven’t been very close but always there when needed! I also feel anxious about talking to my daughter about my illness and want to know the best way to tell her that - every time I think of it I can feel my heart racing and I start shaking x
  8. LQ23
    LQ23 avatar
    20 posts
    9 November 2019 in reply to Ben.L
    Hi Ben L thank you for your post today I’m feeling quite anxious and don’t know why all of a sudden - I feel safer when I am asleep in bed and it feels like this is a bad dream and that it will go away when I wake up - I’m also anxious to tell people outside of my family I am not well - it feels quite daunting

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