Hey,

My name is Greg, I'm a 30yo male from SA with a wife and 3 kids.

Times have been hard here and there and instead of waiting weeks at a time for a psychologist appointment, I figure being here with like minded people may be a great option.

A bit about me, I have been with my wife for over 10 years, been married for almost 8. We have 3 children a girl 7, another girl 6 and a boy almost 2. I have always been a bit of an angry person, hypocritical (don't always do everything right, criticize others but don't like to be criticized) have stress anxiety depression and anger issues. Undiagnosed I have been told I must have a split personality due to being an asshole one minute and over it and loving the next.

My main problem is the anger, to the point where my wife has considered leaving me so she doesn't have to deal with it like she has for so long and so my kids don't grow up with the same attitude problems.

I try to look at the positive of everything, but have a short fuse and go from 0 to 100 in a split second.

I have many opinions, some may be helpful, some I might think are helpful, but may not be. Hoping while being here to have some input and try to help others, while obviously needing help for me to also get past my demons.

Greg.

Hi, welcome

We read stories here similar to yours (and mine in my past) quite often particularly posters that are not diagnosed. From my perspective its quite sad to read a family potentially splitting up and still there is no diagnosis. Yet a diagnosis doe s afew things. If a mental illness is present it can - allow you partner and you to understand there is a reason OUTSIDE of your control and ther eis hope to keep it all together and move forward to controlling your anger.

We cannot diagnose but as one example- myself, I'm 63yo and at 30yo was diagnosed with anxiety, at 54yo diagnosed with bipolar and depression yet I'm certain my bipolar had been there all my life. This meant huge mood swings from depression to high mania episodes (high one minute low the next) or likely daily swings. Such sings can be contained (not cured) to the extent that life is more normal. I also learned that I needed lots of sleep to also contain the mood swings. I did shift work (not recommended for those with mental illness) and snored (a cpap machine stops that) so once I got a day job I was much better.

A message to you and your wife. Together you can both survive this but it will take teamwork and commitment. Start off with a GP appointment actually a double appointment is worth the expense so she can spill the beans of what its like living with you and you can plead that you are ready to do anything required to help your family.

Finally congratulations, you showed courage to come this far. Eventually when stabilized you will see other people and know they have a problem that is not medicated. You'll acknowledge the difference.

Here are some threads that will also help. Google them and read the first post.

Beyondblue topic what life is like a the end of the tunnel

Beyondblue topic Testing family members to their limits

Beyondblue topic relationship strife?- the peace pipe (this works !)

Beyondblue topic Talking to men- some tips (this one is for your wife)

Beyondblue topic Anger, can you own it?

Good luck. We are here 24/7/365. You can repost here or start a thread topic.

As I implied- diagnosis...baby steps, faith in each other...

TonyWK

Sorry, I was a little flustered writing the original post. I have been diagnosed with stress anxiety depression and anger issues, it's the possible split personality that haven't been diagnosed with.

Days like today, I finished work about 230, home and in bed about 330 and up about 830 (normally 730) due to wife having full time day work and needing to drop girls at school and watch son during the day. All I want to do is sleep, then any little thing triggers me off where I just hate myself and can't muster up anything positive. Even typing on here is hard, because I see it as there are more people with bigger problems than me and it's hard where the stigma of "grow some balls" and "be a man about it" begin, on a downward spiral thinking I am not good enough, triggering off other responses. Oh they joys of mental health