After a very long time in denial about my childhood and the abuse I suffered I finally spoke about this for the very first time with my wife who is a psychologist. I would like to say that I found the courage to do so but in fact my aversion towards intimacy had left her feeling that I was no longer attracted to her and I could not let this ruin my marriage as well as my childhood and so I talked about it to her for the first time. It was very emotional. She cried, I cried and afterwards I felt as though I had finally turned a corner. It has been a long and strange journey for me to get to this point and I feel that I have gained a valuable insight that I can share with other survivors and I came here for some catharsis and to offer what little wisdom I have on this issue. It took almost 30 years to get to this point and I hope to give more help than I get as true healing comes from within. Thanks for taking the time to read this.