Chunty

I sometimes limit my social interaction with others and withdraw when I don’t feel up toni.

How long have you felt this way..?

I know for me that the feeling won’t last.

thanks for reaching out.

Hi Chunty :)

You're a superstar for reaching out & you are not alone in this, there are so many ppl on this level & I was one of them.

Listen to your soul, trust it, talk to it. It will give answers if you listen.

Withdrawing from the outside world (negativity) teaches you to stay in your own lane and not to follow others. Does this make sense? You are on the right path Chanty. Observe, but don't Absorb.

Lost of identity is your old self, can't always be a caterpillar. Your new self is on the way, this is where you become a butterfly. Does this make sense?

Independence is a wonderful thing to have in our lives, no one ever can take that away if you allow it. However, make sure you make your own decision. You don't drown by falling into the water, you drown by staying there. Does this make sense?

We are all here for you :) Be safe, Stay safe. Act safe for yourself.

Happy to continue this conversation at any time, feel free to reach out.

Hi Chunty,

Wellcome to our forums!

Sorry you are feeling this way….

Loss of identity, can I ask in what way?

How do you feel you have lost independence? Can you still look after your self… ?can you go out and do the food shopping ?

Withdrawn…… Can I ask are you feeling that you need to withdraw from people?

I went through severe anxiety OCD…… I have now recovered thanks to the help of health professionals….. when I was going through this disorder in the early stages I became withdrawn……. I was really with drawn because I had a lot going on in my mind……

Please come back to us when you can we are all a understanding supportive community and would like to help you…

Hi Chunty

Do you feel you may have entered into a period of self reflection?

A period of self reflection can sound a little like 'I don't know who I am anymore' or 'Who am I? I have no idea'.

From personal experience, I've found a period of self reflection can relate to a time of disconnection from others. It's not like it's intentional or a conscious decision, disconnecting from others, it kind of becomes a part of the process. It's like you can spend the whole of your life, up to a point, being told who you are and then suddenly disconnect. 'Who am I, without people dictating how I should identify myself (giving me my identity)'? It's crazy, how much of our identity is based on what we're told. 'You're a boy/girl. This is your name. You're this race, not that. You're this age. You're this religion, no other. You're a student who must behave this way. If you please people, you'll be loved and valued, so don't challenge anyone. If you get this job and not that one, you'll be more socially acceptable' and so on. When I came out of 15 or so years in depression, it was truly mind altering. I had absolutely no idea who I was without people giving me my identity. It was kind of like an 'empty shell' feeling. The quest to find myself began. Far from an easy quest, for with any significant mind altering life altering quest, there are many many many questions.

I can relate strongly to what Th3Only1trueSelf writes. Regarding listening, this can be incredibly hard to master at first. I'll elaborate on this, so you know where I'm coming from. Have you ever experienced those moments where you can think and think and think your way toward a solution and you just can't find one. Suddenly, from out of the blue, the most brilliant solution comes to mind, without you thinking it up. If you've experienced this, you might have even said 'Where did that come from?' For simplicity's sake, let's call that which comes from out of the blue 'Inspiration'. You gradually learn to listen to and trust inspiration. As I say, easier said than done at first.

I've found one of the best ways to prompt inspiration involves sitting outside. With an open mind, when it comes to gaining insight, you may ask something like 'How do I remain aware of other people's influence on me?' Imagine scanning the scenery when you stop to focus on power lines. What may suddenly come to mind, 'Be aware of the lines of communication'. The challenge is not to think, for much comes into an open mind.

:)

Hi Chunty

It sounds like people have been exhausting you, perhaps not giving as much as they should be. Sometimes it's hard to avoid wondering 'Who's raising the raiser of others?' It's like you can put the effort into raising other people's spirits and then suddenly turn around to feel yourself not being raised. You don't feel it 'til it really hits you, 'til it becomes intolerable. When it hits it can feel depressing, that's for sure.

I'm wondering whether you can relate to the depressing nature of reflection at times. It's like you can begin questioning in a way that leads you to feel down. Kinda like 'What's wrong with me?! Why does no one seem to care?! Why am I not worth the effort?!' and so on. The reason for me putting exclamation marks after the question marks involves these being more like statements than questions. That's what I find, myself, at times. When they remain legitimate questions, involving serious wonder, what comes to mind is sometimes 'Not my fault'.

Questioning 'What's wrong with me?' is not my fault, as wondering about what's not right under the circumstances reflects my ability to seek reason and sometimes leads me to question my need for growth.

People not caring is not my fault. Other people's carelessness should be questioned at times. Is what I'm experiencing, through their carelessness, some of their faults? What's leading them not to care?

'Why am I not worth the effort?' leads to the question 'Do I define my true worth or value through other people's efforts?' With some people's lack of effort involving things like pure laziness, ignorance (ignoring the need for effort), arrogant selfishness, a lack of time management and so on, should our worth or value be based on the laziness, ignorance, arrogance and the lack of time management of others. No way! In all fairness, sometimes others simply give priority to the thing they're struggling most with. This is where their focus is. Kind of like 'It's not my fault that this person's focus is on trying to manage a full time job as well as their own mental health right now'.

In no way am I suggesting we're completely faultless. Changing 'I'm sick of caring so much about others' to 'I'm sick because of caring so much about others' points to the the fault of caring too much, to the degree where it's making us sick. I've found there's nothing quite like throwing 'because' into one of those 'I'm sick of...' statements we occasionally come up with. It can be so revealing sometimes.

:)

Hi therising. Thank you for replying to my post. What you mention makes alot of sense and is very applicable.Yes I do question my self worth alot. I do not want to get hurt or sick and withdrawing is a means of protection. I have made efforts, sending greeting cards GIF text messages and get responses of the days task etc.excuses not to make frequent contact.I just give up. I feel safer not intruding into their busy lives and will only respond when necessary. I just wonder if having mental illness have a beariing on attitudes from others. You have alot of insigt and thank you for sharing with me. Also being a BPD makes me a highly sensitive indiviidual. I have to cope with my physical symptoms, and Im tired of callous people. Thank you and God Bless You.

Hi Chunty

That phrase 'I'm sick of..' I suppose can also be applied to 'I'm tired of...'. I've never thought about this before. Thank you for raising my consciousness. Deeply grateful :) Sometimes you even hear people say 'I'm sick and tired of...'. I've never thought about this before, the significance of the statement 'I'm sick and tired because of callous people'. When I think of the people in my life who lead me to feel rundown and a little unwell, mentally and physically, this makes sense.

When I think of the people who raise me, really raise me in significant ways, I'd describe them as being the opposite of sickening and tiring. They're healthy and energising. Such people can be hard to find. I've found, while being sensitive comes with some serious mental health challenges, being so sensitive also comes with perks. You can feel your way to finding the right people, hidden amongst the woodwork: 'This one feels energising. Oh, no, not this one; I can feel this one's narcissistic nature sucking the life out of me. That one leads me to feel peace (a beautiful feeling). This one leads me to feel degradation, self doubt and a serious downshift'. If such positive people are in short supply, in person, I'll tend to look for them on the internet. One of my latest favorites is a guy names Phil Borges. Not only is he a truly amazing photographer, he has a mind altering way of looking at mental health. I should add, while it can be easy to get a feel for people, sometimes it appears impossible. The impossible times tend to coincide with an inability to shift focus away from what's depressing, a serious lack of physical energy and an all too consuming challenge I can be struggling to make sense of, especially when that challenge is leading me to have to let go of something I'm refusing to let go of.

I believe, when it comes to the sickening and exhausting nature of depression or anxiety, for example, no one feels the nature more than the person experiencing these challenges 1st hand. Then there's 2nd hand effects, felt by those around them. Someone who loves so deeply can feel the pain (to some degree) of someone experiencing mental health challenges. Such deeply feeling people can become somewhat sick and exhausted themselves if they're not careful. Then there are those who simply aren't up for feeling the challenges that can come with helping those who experience depression or anxiety. Kind of like 'Nup, don't want to feel too deeply. Doesn't suit me'.

:)

Dear Chunty,

Lockdown has been making me feel this exact same way! My family and friends have been telling me that I've been withdrawn and unenthusiastic. I think that especially during the pandemic- this is totally normal. You're definitely not the only one. But I've recently started little self-care nights which I do once or twice a week where I force myself to reach out to a loved one.

It's really important to facetime a friend, send a quick text and have a conversation with your family. I know sometimes this is hard to do! But it always makes me feel 100 times better and also reconnects me to my identity.

Hope this helps!

Hello Goldwing, Thank you for your post. I just have one friend who is sincere and hears me out and is well meaning. Other than that, I dont know who I am anymore. I am watched, by the one person. Im totally trapped and helpless. All I know is Im very depressed. Take care kind person and God Bless You.

Dear Chunty,

I can assure you that there is more than one person who is interested in your well-being! I think sometimes you can fall into a vicious cycle of self-loathing and convince yourself that people do not love you and then self-sabotage relationships by withdrawing. This is not always the case however, it's just something I've noticed.

It's good that you have one person at the moment you can trust. I think it's important to expand your support system. I recommend talking to a trusted GP, or a therapist if you find that your negative thoughts are overwhelming.

Take care of yourself <3

Thank you Dear Goldwing. I do have a Psychologist. She is very kind and she uses hypnosis to get rid of negative energies around me. Its good while it last, but I have to be that particular person because Im totally reliant on him for my needs.My Psychiatrist yelled at me when i phoned and pleaded of him to increase my meds.to stop me from acting out thru frustration. Im now submissive and withdrawn so I can survive and have peace.You are a kind and understanding being. God Bless You. Chunty

Dear Chunty:

Things will get better, I promise. Here if you need anything else :)

Hello Petal, Thank you for your post. I have lost my independence because Im stuck with a debilitating disease that has left me to be totally reliant on others for my needs. Im grieving for my loss. Ive loss my identity because my carer and friend has got total controll over me. He is helping me but it is an emotional price to pay. There is always the threat of nursing home which im terrified of, so l have to play the game. I can write this here as it is safe. Imnvrry grateful forwhat he is doing for me, but im very depressed and have to rely on medication to calm me down and not lash out thru frustration. So that is how im coping. Im literally alone with no family support. I love Jesus. He keeps me going and my darling cat Merryweather. God Bless you dear Petal and take care. Chunty

Hi Sophie, Than you for your kind words and referral to Disability Gateway. My psychiatrist left me feeling like I was on a guilt trip, reminding me and reinforcing how much my carer is doing for me. Since Ive been on the medn. Ive been quiet, submissive, constantly aopologising for every inconvenience that I cause. Im tired of this existence. Im trying to make the rest of my life peaceful, but I dont seem to get it. I have emailed my psychologist and she agreed she will see me alone. Im trying my best not to be difficult or abusive. Im just luckly that the medication stops my anxiety, and controlls my frustrations and acting out behaviour. It is the worst thing in the word to be reliant on others for your needs. Im always on guard re controlling my behaviour. I feel Im always crawling, tensed and frightened. Im glad i can release my feelings in the safe environment of the community.

Hi Chunty,

Sorry to hear you have a debilitating disease I can understand how that would effect your independence…..

Is your carer and friend nice to you?

I understand how it would feel to have the threat of a nursing home….

I understand how you would be grieving the loss of your independence that would be hard……..

Im glad you love Jesus and your cat…

Im sorry you have no family support…

Please chat to us anytime time here in this forum, we are here to support you..

Hi Chunty,

Nice to hear from you…

Sorry you were upset by the way a male nurse spoke to you…. I understand his words would have hurt………… I use to get sensitive to what other people said to me but I learned that this was a reflection of them and not me……. I learned to just let it go because by them being like that will only make them feel horrible and negative because they hold a lot of negativity and if they want to live that way then that’s their choice…………. Chunty let them keep their negativity and instead of taking in their negativity let it go and embrace the light….. put your attention on something positive and something your grateful for….. this will bring you a much higher energy vibration…. I know light is Jesus so I always choose to live in the light 🙏

Thats great you spoke to the movement disorder nurse I’m so glad she could understand you and help you 🙏

Im glad it’s a nice day for you today 😊 I’m great today too….. I feel very blessed….. I’m a mum in my 40 s and I love my life….. and I love to help others in any way that I can….

I once went through a really rough time in my life I had severe anxiety OCD…… this was one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through I didn’t understand what was happening to me… I went on a mental health journey…… my health professionals helped me a lot I’ll be forever grateful to them…… I also had a lovely support network which I feel very grateful for….. I had a lovely friend who reminded me while I was in the depths of OCD…… For God has not given you a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind ❤️🙏

I’ve now recovered from OCD and I feel that I came through to the other side so I could help others who are going through mental health…….. I always feel I can give them HOPE…..

Im always here to chat Chunty…. Please feel free to chat to me anytime 😊🦋

Hello Petal Thank you for your lovely message. I needcto vent. Thru desperation I wnt to lookfor a psychic reading.Instead of a reading she insisted I had past lives and to bring my past life hen I was healthy to heal me in this life. I told her I didnt believe in past lives but she kept insisting that she could heal me. Common sense says that cells, mjscles and tissues that hsve ceased up cant be healed. I asked her questions for a reading and she totally ignored me.She asked me to send a photo of myself and she never acknowledged. I hsve been upset all afternoon, so I rang her. She was so rude and nasty to me denying she didnt know me and refused to help me. Im so hurt and upset. I was going to pay her, but she made me feel I was a bit of dirt. I try reaching out for help but grt knocked bsck and rejected. There must be something wrong with me. I admire you getting over your OCD. The anxiety you experience would have been horrible. Today is my 75th birthday and what a day. Do you think there is somthing wrong with me, i try to reach out and get rejected. Thats why Im withdrawn.Nobody bothered about my birthday except my carer. So sorry I winged, but I had to get it off my chest. I wont be looking for psycics anymore.She charged me $50.00 and she was no help to me. God Bless You Petal22. You are a kind soul

Happy birthday Chunty 🥳🎉🦋🌺

Im so sorry that the psychic treated you that way that’s horrible…. I believe some people have a gift and they can give healing readings I mean in a healing emotional sense of compassion and love not in the physical sense……..

but some don’t have a gift at all and are just in it for the money…… which is really sad that they hurt people in the process for their own greed……

I think it’s a wise choice to stay away from them..

There is nothing wrong with you Chunty…… your a lovely caring person just seek the people that bring light to you…… do you attend a church? What do you enjoy doing? Do you like crochet? There are graft groups you could join and meet new caring friends…. When you meet the correct people in your life the ones that want to be your friend will stay….they will love you …… there are people in this world that are this way….

Wow Chunty 75 years old today how beautiful……. ❤️🦋

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you

happy birthday dear Chunty

happy birthday to you ❤️🎉

Hip hip hooray

Hip hip hooray

🎂 This cake is for you

Im here to chat to you anytime 😊

Hi Chunty

So sorry to hear your experience with the psychic was so disappointing. When you appoint someone as 'the go to person for telling you what you desperately want to know' and they disappoint themself from filling that role, it can be so disheartening.

Being such a sensitive person, I can easily imagine you having your own intuitive abilities. Sounds like you can easily sense other people's frustration or dismissive nature. On the flip side, when a carer comes along who happens to care deeply, you can feel their level of care. It's like you have a real connection with them. Some carers have a great ability to sense exactly what someone needs.

Working in aged care, I'm surrounded by a number of sensitive people with amazing intuitive abilities. Just to name a couple...While one has the ability to read people like a book, her ability to get an accurate feel for a person gives her a 100% strike rate when it comes to picking which staff members are in the early stages of pregnancy. She says it's something she can just sense. Any staff member who doesn't want their pregnancy revealed has to avoid her :) Another staff member is so intuitive she pretty much saved her young nephew's life. While his parents felt their son's lethargy was just growing pains, she insisted they seriously needed to take their son to the doctor. Much to their annoyance, she pushed and pushed them until they finally did something. She just couldn't get this sense of urgency in her to subside. It turned out he was in the early stages of a progressive form of cancer. He's healthy today.

While you felt a need to connect with an intuitive person, it's a shame the 1st person you met on your path is someone you felt to be a bit of a 'snake oil salesman'. Do you think you'd be able to feel who's the real deal if you came across them?

Myself, I've been blessed to find a highly intuitive guy who I see on occasion, who's helped me at significant forks in the road in my life. First time I ever saw him he led me to tears. He triggered me through telling me 'You need to forgive yourself for moving off the path to finding who you naturally are. It's okay.'. Another thing he said, 'You need to learn to wash off the mud that other people are going to fling at you as they judge you'. On the way home from seeing him, I pulled up to a set of lights. I looked over to my right to find a billboard advertising washing powder. In big bold letters it read 'WASH OFF THE MUD'. I couldn't help but smile :)

Hi Chunty,

Thats ok 😊 you are a worthy person…. 🙏❤️

Going back to church sounds like a good idea if you are able to? It will give you a sense of belonging in your church group and you can catch up with some long term friends there…

I believe it’s good to put our trust in Jesus…… for Jesus knows the path….. I believe we are put on certain paths for certain reasons and we meet certain people along the way…… we learn certain things from certain people in our lives….

Thats great you are intuitive I’m sure you can sense things off certain people…. You know what s best for you..

Keep reaching out the right people will reach back……. Maybe there is some one in your church group you could reach out to as a friend?

I like listening to music too….. meditation is great have you ever tried it?

Thats nice you have a cat….. they like keeping us company….

Im glad you liked my birthday wishes for you…🌺

Im here to chat to you anytime 😊

Hi Chunty

Aged care facilities are definitely not for everyone. People enter into them for so many varied reasons. I say, if you've got no good reason, best to stay at home and have the care come to you.

Not sure if you've ever heard of a writer named Neale Donald Walsch who wrote a series of books called 'Conversations with God'. While a clarvoyant works on the principal of seeing what comes to mind, a claraudiant works on the principal of hearing what comes to mind. Walsch defines himself as claraudiant. He began putting pen to paper during one of the worst times of his life. While he began to pray out of desperation, he realised prayer was not one way. He also began to listen to what naturally came to mind, following each question. This is how his books came about, conversations he wished to share.

I recall my earlier years in having been raised as Catholic. Of course, one of the things we were taught was how to pray, yet we were never taught how to listen to what came to mind in response. While no longer a practicing Catholic, I cannot deny there have been times in my life where what has come to mind has left me wondering 'Where did that come from?' Is it the powers that be that sometimes come to mind with 'You need to trust' after we've expressed how hopeless we feel? Perhaps there may be occasions where timing could not be more perfect, where you are left to seriously wonder. I recall a moment when sitting in traffic some years ago. While going through a deeply challenging transitional period in my life, I just could not make sense of it and declared in my mind, while on the verge of tears, 'I don't know what to do anymore'. In the very next moment 2 semi trailers passed, one right behind the other. The timing was incredible. The 1st had written on the side of it 'PHOENIX', with a logo of a phoenix. On the one behind was written 'GRACE'. Is was in that moment where what came to mind was 'As your old sense of self disintegrates, you're to move into who you are going to be, with grace'.

While I've had people say to me on occasion 'You see something in everything', my response is 'Why would I choose not to?'

Have you ever had one or more of those moments where something has come to mind and you were left thinking 'Where did that come from?'. It's like it was something that just suddenly popped in from out of the blue, without a single thought.

Hi Chunty,

Thats ok I’m happy to help you in any way that I can and I’m glad I have helped you in some way…. 🙏❤️

Welldone Chunty……. take back your power….. good for you refusing the psychic and deleting her number….. you deserve so much better in life.

You deserve love and respect don’t allow anyone to treat you like dirt….. you have a heart and feelings you are a human being and deserved to be treated well..

Im glad to hear that you are going to try to go back to church, how nice that the parisners asked about you …… that’s nice the priest came to see you today……I hope you can go back to church Chunty I think it will do you good to be back with a nice group of caring loveable people….. who care about you too……. please let me know when you back and how it goes for you 😊

Thank you Chunty overcoming OCD was a very challenging part of my life and I know that I am very blessed to have overcome this condition….. I plan to use my blessings in any way that I can for the better to help others in their life’s who may be struggling or just need a shoulder to lean on I know that Jesus gave me these blessings because he knows I will do great things with them for the glory of Jesus….. ❤️🙏

Please reach out and chat to me anytime Chunty about anything we are friends now 😊