I feel for you deeply as you question your way through depression. It can be such a torturous experience, esp when answers just don't seem to be coming in.
You're blessed to have such a supportive partner. Easier said than done but try not to beat yourself up too much when it comes to him not being able to make a difference to you. Mental health challenges along with the challenges that coincide with our personal growth can be incredibly complex in so many ways. I've found that some challenges can take hours to work out, some can take days, some weeks, some months and others years. The ones that take years tend to be those that can seriously mess with mental health. Personally, it took me years to work out the depressing aspects that can come with being a people pleaser. If I had my time again, I would have managed my years in depression with being far less pleasing. Of course, this would have seriously challenged and triggered people along the way.
To my husband who didn't believe in depression, until I came out of it at the end of 15 or so years, I would have said 'The fact that you don't believe is of absolutely no help to me. Get it together you closed minded bleep and do a bit of research because I'm struggling to stay alive'. To the psych I saw, I may have said 'All this analysis and small talk is not offering me any life changing mind altering revelations. Why not? Why does this feel like a complete waste of my time?'. To the people who prescribed the different anti depressants, I may have said 'People, this process is thoroughly depressing. Why is there not a better plan in the way of managing all these meds not working for me?'. Looking back, I realise I was tolerating what was basically intolerable, yet at the time my mantra was 'What's wrong with me? Why's nothing working?' The truth: I was managing an intolerable life and this is something I now give myself credit for, as should you.
I'm more a mind/body/spirit gal now, which tends to put me in touch with feeling my way through life. Interpreting feelings can be deeply challenging at times. If there's one thing that is easiest to feel, it's intolerance. It can feel horrible, torturous, deeply depressing, angering and challenging. Complete intolerance pushes us to the limits and sometimes beyond. It can push us to scream, to vent, to rant and...to seek change.
While an insensitive person feels little, a sensitive person holds the ability to feel everything (including their thoughts).