I'm sorry to hear that it is really hard at the moment. It's a very difficult space to be in, especially when you've got to keep looking after a little one.
What works for me in getting through the nights... Well, if I've had a bad night or two, now I'll just tell my supports (husband, mum) that I need to have a daytime nap. Do you have someone who can help you have this kind of break? Is hubby able to? Does your daughter go to childcare at all? Or is she maybe able to start?
I haven't really explained my situation... I've got a 7 month old, and 3&3/4 year old (and a 19 year old, but that's another story!) So the nearly 4 year old goes to childcare 2 days a week. My hubby is at home so I often leave the baby with him in the mornings and take the nearly 4 year old to playgroup, etc. The 7 month old has started drinking from a cup so she can get milk from hubby now, thank goodness!
I also don't feel guilty about complaining about motherhood, and I do it regularly with other mum friends, which helps relieve the pressure in my head.
I am on medication. I don't find it numbing, I find it helps me to do the things I need to do to feel better, like go for a walk, get stuff done...
Finally, if you're not coping or happy with how your daughter is sleeping at night, maybe you could get some help from a parenting centre or advice line about how to get her to sleep more... At 14 months you could expect to be having reasonable nights by now. And to be honest, you need and deserve them! Chronic sleep deprivation is torture! I'm about to get tough on my 7 month old about giving me more sleep at night because I know I'll cope heaps better during the day if I'm better rested.
Do any of these ideas sound like they might work for you?
Thinking of you, Ebi