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Topic: My anger

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Lloydincanberra
    Lloydincanberra avatar
    3 posts
    4 May 2021

    I am a single Dad with joint custody of my 16yo son.

    I moved here from interstate a while ago and am very lonely I have no friends here and all my extended family are interstate.

    I am constantly anxious that I am overreacting to perceived issues. When I think about things after I have reacted I always realise that I was wrong - always.

    I am deeply concerned that I am having a negative effect on my son.

    I love him unconditionally and would anything for him.

    I have nobody to talk to without being judged and I just need someone to talk to that can maybe offer advice .

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    5672 posts
    4 May 2021 in reply to Lloydincanberra
    Hi Lloydincanberra, 

    Welcome to the forums and to this open, welcoming and undertanding community. We think it is a great step for you to have reached out for support today. It shows great courage and a willingness to be the best Dad you be. Thank you for displaying the bravery. It sounds like you are finding it really hard to look back at how you react to situations, we understand that can be a really stressful experience.

    We think it could be useful to reach out to Mensline and chat about how your anger is affecting how you feel - Mensline 1300 78 99 78.
    You can also give us a call on 1300 22 4636 anytime to talk about how you are feeling and to get advice on where else to seek help.

    Mensline also have some great resources and articles that might be useufl for you. There are a few here that might help get you started:
    https://mensline.org.au/how-to-deal-with-anger/managing-anger/
    https://mensline.org.au/being-a-dad/parenting-tips-separated-dads/
    https://mensline.org.au/how-to-deal-with-anger/anger-management-toolkit/

    If you prefer to chat online you can do that too! There are a few links below you can check out it you want to.

    https://mensline.org.au/
    https://online.beyondblue.org.au/Webmodules/chat/InitialInformation.aspx

    Thanks again Lloydincanberra for joining us on the forums. Welcome and we hope you can find support with one of the options above.

    Kind regards, 
    Sophie M

     
  3. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    tranzcrybe avatar
    609 posts
    4 May 2021 in reply to Lloydincanberra

    Hi Lloydincanberra,

    Thanks for posting and welcome to BB forums.

    The best (and worst) thing of being surrounded by friends is that they can be great 'levelers'. Opinions can be quickly checked within the group consensus to prevent escalation into feeling pretty foolish once you've crossed the line. So I see where some of your problems may originate.

    I also acknowledge that you come to your senses after contemplation - this is encouraging. Do you then follow through and make atonement for your outbursts? It helps those in the firing line but will also absolve you of the guilt you carry so you can move on with the aim to apply more considered thought beforehand next time.

    Are these overreactions directed (indirectly) at your son, hence your concern over how he is being impacted?

  4. Lloydincanberra
    Lloydincanberra avatar
    3 posts
    11 May 2021 in reply to tranzcrybe

    Thank you, I do "atone" but feel the damage is already done. Yes it is directed at my son for reasons that do not exist. And I am concerned how it is impacting him.

    I have tried to talk to family but am met with "you need help"

    I have googled my issues and maybe I have Paranoid Personality Disorder.

  5. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    tranzcrybe avatar
    609 posts
    13 May 2021 in reply to Lloydincanberra
    Hi Lloyd,
    Your son being 16 is a tricky age for determining maturity, but you might find expressing how you are feeling and why your reactions are misdirected could set up some meaningful dialogue (in calmer moments).
    I have found that heartfelt honesty transgresses many failings and once the source of your outbursts has been identified as self directed/projected, you may find more acceptance from your son as well as within yourself - it's natural to feel resentful in angry altercations particularly when they appear unjustified, and if left unaddressed they can become indelible. But it also sounds like family are not rallying around you and this may negatively influence your efforts.
    When left to your own thoughts, paranoia is bound to set in; so talking things through with anyone should help restore some balance. Be careful with 'Dr Google, but it may be worth seeking a professional opinion for a diagnosis and treatment plan - this may not be something you can tackle alone. Further, utilise the forum space to express, vent, or seek opinions to whatever plagues your mind and to help mitigate future blowouts.
  6. Lloydincanberra
    Lloydincanberra avatar
    3 posts
    19 May 2021 in reply to tranzcrybe
    Thank you. Your words are very helpful.

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