Hi Worryzane :0)
First of all, thank you for have the courage to reach out to us here at Beyond Blue. I want you to know that we understand and you're not alone. We're here to help you through this trying time in your life.
First of all, have you sat down with your GP? This would be the first place you'd need to go and confide in as they can often be very beneficial in getting you back on the road to recovery. I'd strongly recommend you do this ASAP.
"I'm worried and afraid of what most people consider normal events in everyday life - eg; energy or water bill arrives late my mind jumps to the conclusion that they will cut my electricity or water off".
We all worry about everyday events Zane, some more than others. Provided you've paid the last bill, there's no need to worry they're going to cut you off? A great way to safeguard yourself is to have ALL your bills sent electronically to your email. The same with your bank statements. As for regularly checking your bank account online, that's a commonsense thing to do, most people do it, I know I do, and so do most people I know.
"For the last 10 years (after graduation), I have been alone. The only people i talk to are my parents".
You need to get out more Zane. New friends aren't going to come knocking on your door. Are you active on social platforms like Facebook? It's a great place to meet new people and make friends. There's all sorts of hobby groups from coin/stamp collecting, gold detecting, singles in Australia and so many more. It really is a great place to meet people. The fact that you've stated that you "want to makes friends and don't want to be alone" is a GREAT thing. It shows you want social interaction. Once you start making friends and getting out, I promise you a lot of your insecurities will fade away.
Do me a favour please Zane, reach out to your GP and talk with him/her. That's for starters. Then, try joining Facebook groups that interest you. Think about "what do I like doing" and join those groups.
I wold love to hear your thoughts.
Your friend - Rumples