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Forums / Welcome and orientation / My wife doesn't understand depression.

Topic: My wife doesn't understand depression.

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. Dom T
    Dom T avatar
    4 posts
    11 June 2019

    hi, i have been fighting this shit of a disease most of my life, however after 15 years in the same job and an acquisition, 3 year of hell on wheels, being the meat in the sandwich from senior management and the grown level staff, going to work every day to fight for what was right for the customer, staff, company, etc. sent me to total burn out. Depression kick in at full steam, and it has now been 2+ years of Psyc, meds on and now off - because i can't stand the feeling of nothing.

    My wife asks me.. 'why can't you just be happy and move forward?' 'When is this going to be over?' she doesn't understand depression and openly says she doesn't, asks me what i need to fix it..

    it gets really lonely and super busy inside my head all at the same time.

  2. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    11397 posts
    11 June 2019 in reply to Dom T

    Hi Dom T

    Welcome and thankyou for posting too!

    Depression is a vile illness...I understand the pain and anguish you are going through....Even though in recovery it can be a bad place to be in. I am ex corporate from a management and HR background

    Just a note....The more frequent our counseling...the better quality our recovery will be...Monthly is great...fortnightly is better again! Weekly is excellent....(if possible of course) I use both meds and counseling together to obtain better peace of mind as meds on their own are not a fix all...unfortunately

    Can I ask when you were diagnosed? (if thats okay?)

    Beyond Blue have an excellent section on 'Supporting Someone with Depression/Anxiety' that may helpful for your wife if she is having difficulty providing you with the support you need during this difficult period.

    www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/supporting-someone/supporting-someone-with-depression-or-anxiety

    Its a copy & paste link that has excellent info for people that dont understand what we are going through

    The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post Dom :-) Your privacy and well being is paramount to Beyond Blue and the forums

    any questions are welcome

    my kind thoughts

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  3. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9778 posts
    11 June 2019 in reply to Dom T

    Hi Dom T, welcome

    Blondeguy has asked some relevant questions there.

    Here is thread you can google

    Beyondblue Topic they just wont understand- why?

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Dom T
    Dom T avatar
    4 posts
    11 June 2019 in reply to blondguy

    Hi Blondguys.

    Yeah you can ask, About 2&1/2 years ago.

    thanks for the link and thanks for, replying.

  5. Dom T
    Dom T avatar
    4 posts
    11 June 2019 in reply to white knight

    Thanks WK

    having some pretty big ups and down atm.

  6. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9778 posts
    12 June 2019 in reply to Dom T

    Hi

    I dont think going off meds will help. A readjustment yes, if you get your psych or GP to agree to that.

    Please google

    Beyondblue Topic medication is a whirlpool

    Beyondblue Topic the timing of motivation

    It is lonely being mentally unwell. That why this forum is so busy.

    I may point out that I took 12 different medications over a 6 year period before one was compatible.

    A second opinion might lead to a medication change, dosage change and diffetent therapy.

    TonyWK

  7. Dom T
    Dom T avatar
    4 posts
    12 June 2019 in reply to white knight

    WK

    i stopped taking my meds about 3 months ago, cold turkey (yes I know!). It took about 6 weeks + for the side effects to stop and for the numb feelings to stop. I have always been a caring, compassionate person with loads of empathy, on the meds I was nothing, I could stand there and watch someone get hurt and feel nothing, NOTHING!

    working with my psyc, we are working on reading the signs and learning to take a breather or take myself away from situations, come back later. This is a real struggle for me. I have always been so stubborn to succeed, I guess proving to myself I am good enough, but after the total burn out, I can’t do it anymore. I feel like I have failed and am lazy. It really chews me up.

    i just want the world to stop so I can get off, Live in a cabin in the bush. Or something. I have started to go camping and 4x4 driving since feb, it helps escape without the need of drowning myself in scotch.

    training myself to accept the pace I can handle now is a challenge I am slowly getting through. It’s just a massive contrast from the 60-70 hour working weeks prior for as long as I can remember.

    everything is new and challenging,

    sorry, been a really hard few days. Downloading too much!

    i

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