Hi Anon and warm welcome to our forums
I'm so pleased you've found your way here. I'm also sorry it's taken so long for us to respond to your reach out for help. It has nothing to do with you, it's just what happens sometimes. Posts get missed for one reason or another. Unfortunately yours happens to be one of those.
You sound like things are very difficult for you at the moment. Please don't hate yourself for asking for help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. If you browse our forums, there are many others who do the same. So you are in very good company.
It is interesting that you find yourself a failure when all I read in your post is success. The stories we tell ourselves can be so strong can't they. I'm not a health professional, just someone who has lived experience with PTSD, anxiety and depression.
Just wondering what outside activities you have? No pressure to answer. My thoughts are, stay at home mums need some intellectual or social stimulation. I've found many of my friends have got very bored being at home all the time and subsequently moved into anxiety and depression. Do you think this could be the situation with yourself?
What do you think some of the reasons for your friends not visiting may be? My thoughts are - they think you might be very busy with 2 very young children and they leave you in peace. Have you thought about having a morning tea and inviting them around?
There's no pressure for you to tell more of your story - only if you feel like it and want to do it. You're not alone Anon.