Hi Pepper and Mrs Jackson.
Thanks for reaching out.
There is so much happening in my life right now. I recently got engaged, my fiancé was just made redundant at work and I’m feeling a lot of self hatred about my body and my weight due to a bad experience at the doctors recently.
I feel anxious about not knowing what’s going to happen to my little family (my partner, myself and our fur family) about being a plus size bride and my declining health and how I’m unable to get real support from unbiased doctors.
I feel depressed that I can’t seem to get motivated to do anything - because I’m depressed.
All I can do is cry, abuse myself and lay in bed. I went to work but went home early because I had a breakdown after finding out my partner was made redundant at work.
After being diagnosed with osteoarthritis last year in my spine my work capacity has been greatly reduced. I’m always fighting with work to be allowed to sit when I need and the double standards held by them against what I’m allowed to do and what able bodied people are able to do. So if I’m not at work I’m generally at home trying to get relief and rest for work the next day.
I just feel really lost. I don’t think I can go out and get help. Partly because my doctors think every problem I have is caused by my weight and also because of previous bad experiences with unempatheic psychiatrists.