Hello Chick75, I know it isn't easy to unravel all your thoughts to people you don't even know, but then again, it may be easier, and every reply has a great deal of meaning.
You must never feel 'stupid & selfish for not being happy', and we can pretend to our family/friends that there is nothing wrong, but the longer this prevails the worse we can get and make it harder for trying to cope with all the situations that face us.
Your son is a young man growing up, beginning to start his own agenda and what he's aiming for in life and learning to understand what's actually happening and you shouldn't blame yourself.
Your 1 friend who also drinks with her husband and yours may tend to be aloof as the alcohol takes effect, and with the psychologist's comment, you have every right to question what she has said, she's there to help you, not put an unnecessary judgement that only stalls you from talking with her.
A puppy or kitten is a calm solace, my puppy was with me 24/7.
hanks for posting and get back to us when you have time.