Thank you so much for your post, and a warm welcome to our forums.
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. It can be really frustrating when you don't feel like yourself, I know the feeling. Also not having anyone to talk to can be equally frustrating.
When I'm feeling like this, I usually take a step back from what I'm doing and try to do something that I can lose myself in, like a hobby. Reading or meditating is also a great way to relax yourself or put yourself into a good headspace.
Are you seeing a therapist or psychologist at all? If not, it may be useful for you to talk to somebody objectively who can offer you advice.
I hope this somewhat helps! Take care, and I wish you all the best. Please feel free to continue posting on the forums if you have more to talk about.
Kind regards, SB