Hi Mavis, welcome to the forums and thanks for posting your comment.
I'm really sorry that you find yourself in this situation, but please don't think that you're a bad person or someone that messes things up, that's your condition telling you this.
It's great you have decided to come to this site because all of us have had to struggle through our own type of depression, maybe only for a short time or those that have had to cope with it for years, so in essence, we feel your pain.
Please come back and tell us a little more about your situation, then we can help you.
Take care.
Geoff.