Dear Valerie and Red Heart
A warm welcome to the forum to both of you. I hope you don't mind a joint reply but you have much in common.
I emigrated from the UK to be with husband and I hated it for many years. We lived in central Qld where it was soooo hot. All I could think about was going home. Two daughters born here and then we moved to Brisbane where I had two sons. All my family and friends were in the UK and making new friends was difficult, mainly because the way of life was different. Eventually I settled down and became more accustomed to the heat and humidity.
When I found a job I became much happier. I felt people could see me on my own and not as someone's wife. I had not realised how important it was for me. Having my children here was good because it made us a family and I was slowly able to feel Australian. Different circumstances to both of you ladies but I think the underlying feelings are the same. It is hard to be away from those people and places you love. Add to that a feeling of "ought to follow' the husband and it can have a huge impact on us.
I concentrated on being a member of the local community especially in my children's activities. You know the sort, school, scouts, guides, dancing, hockey etc. I had a very busy life and found I was enjoying it. The children grew up and I am now a grandma (eight grandchildren). I felt my husband and I had drifted away from each other and so I left after 30 years. I live on my own and I am (usually) happy. Just at the moment I have the 'flu so not happy but I will recover.
Sorry to make such a long winded story about myself. I think my satisfaction came from doing the best I could at the time, often in difficult circumstances. I have returned to the UK several times and realised I could never live there again. This is my home. I am retired from paid work but have several volunteer roles plus the personal interests I have found on my journey. Book club, meditation, going to uni part time and gaining a degree and developing an interest in gardening. When your heart and mind are engaged in something you love it is so much easier to live where you are. I wish I had realised this when I first started wandering around Australia with my husband.
Hope this makes sense to you both.