Hi Miss Mary
I am often led to feel sorrow when I hear someone is suffering so much.
You mention, Done all the right things, Drs, meds, counselling. Seeing not much has changed leads me to question whether they were the right doctors, meds and counseling for you. When things don't seem to be working, this can lead to that self-chastising question 'What's wrong with me?!' I believe a far more productive question is 'What's not right?' Words can be incredibly powerful when it comes to our perception. By asking what's wrong, we can face generalising. What's not right involves pinpointing a solution. Such language also involves a more positive take on investigating the complexities that are involved when it comes to how we tick.
Something's not right if you've been suffering for so long. Is it to be found in the mind (thought processing), body (chemistry) or both? Something's not right if the medication hasn't worked. Why is this the case? Something's not right with the methods involved when it comes to you regaining mental well-being. Why is this so? In looking at what's not right, this focuses less on you in general and more on the external influences.
I'll give an example how the 'What's not right?' factor can change perception. Although my husband is very loving and typically considerate, there were a couple of instances in the last week which led me to feel down. The 1st involved me being honest and open about why I wasn't feeling affectionate towards him. I suggested maybe it was hormonal, seeing I couldn't pinpoint a logical reason. The 2nd involved us arguing about him wanting to buy a 2nd hand car for a whopping $25,0000. On both occasions I thought 'I'm such a disappointment to people', a terrible generalisation. Just yesterday I got to thinking, 'Hang on, what's not right here?'
- Regarding the affection, what's not right is the fact that, in my openness and honesty, he accused me of being selfish and was not open to any discussion beyond that
- Regarding the car, he's always driven a company car with a small weekly fee attached. This past year is the 1st in 16 where we haven't faced significant debt (yay). What's not right is the unnecessary introduction of a new financial stress, on top of 2 sets of braces for our teenagers who have significant dental issues
What's not right, in my opinion, is the lack of consideration and maturity in both cases.
Mary, 'What's not right?' is the question that leads us to the right more empowering path.