dear Lilyana, I am so pleased that you have decided to post your comment, and firstly can I say that how you are feeling is exactly how most of us have had to endue through our life and struggle with depression.
Even though I know how you feel it's great that now you are keen to tackle this battle, where some people can or will overcome it without much ease, while others struggle so much along the way, and no one could ever predict how someone will recover, because it's virtually impossible to say.
I know that you must be feeling a bit nervous in posting your first comment and congratulate for doing so, but this is maybe why your post doesn't give us much to work on.
I only say this because there could be so many issues that you are struggling with, so we could go off and reply to you, but this could only be assuming the wrong idea or not the appropriate approach to what is hurting you, so I really do hope that you can come back to us.
Don't forget that this site is anonymous, so none of us don't know who you are or what you look like, so please can you trust us to try and help you. Geoff.