I'm so glad you found your sensitive partner. This is a relationship you deserve, especially after having worked so hard to navigate life with so many insensitive people. As a mum and a sensitive gal, my heart aches for that kid in you that was dragged from pillar to post, when what he most longed for (I imagine) was stability, a sense of grounding.
I find while it can be easy to cry for a lost sense of self, it can be hard to stop the tears and pain sometimes. It's my #1 wish, with all my heart, to gift you a strong sense of self, so that you can know how truly incredible you are.
Before I go on, I'll share with you something I heard the other day: A toxic person/toxic people will train you into your power. Sounds a bit strange, I know, but I've found it to be undeniably true. I've found such people have taught me what I can't tolerate. Toxic people hold most of the traits I find intolerable. Such traits will typically bring down a sensitive person. Wondering if you can relate. They are typically closed minded, unfeeling, self serving. They shut you down in favour of what serves them. They are insensitive and narrow minded, with blinkers on. I could go on but you get the gist. I'll take each one of these and reveal what our intolerance towards them says about us, what it teaches us about our self. We are typically
- Open minded
- Deeply feeling and compassionate
- Largely selfless
- We seek to open up and explore our self
- We are deeply sensitive to many things. We are 'feelers', longing to tap into getting the best feel for life
- We seek to look at the bigger picture, without blinkers
and this is why we can't tolerate toxic people, because of who we are.
As a HSP, I bet you hold the super natural ability to sense so much. Can you easily sense the nature of someone who shuts others down, brings them down or puts them down? Can you feel/sense 'down'? Can you easily sense the nature of someone who raises people, lifts their spirits and their consciousness? Can you feel/sense 'up' or 'raising'? You could say that toxic people teach us what 'down' feels like. Without them, we simply would not be able to identify this feeling.
Imagine using your super natural ability in a challenge. Say I sent you into a room of 100 people and told you to spot the 5 who are degrading and insensitive. After speaking to everyone, would you be able to tell me who the 5 people are, even the couple who are subtle in this nature? I bet you could. Not everyone has this ability.