Hi all. Have been here before but not for a long time. Have been on medication for many years, I go downhill very quickly usually to not being able to put coping strategies in place in time. There’s always a trigger but it’s not always the same thing. Usually though it’s due to family issues etc which I cant help but dwell on. I’d love to learn how to stop dwelling on things that don’t exist but drive me (and my family) loopy at times. Tips please. 🙆‍♀️

Hi, welcome back

Here is a few threads tgat might help- use Google

Beyondblue topic who cries over spilt milk?

Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

Beyondblue topic guilt the tormentor

Reply anytime. I'm here daily.

TonyWK

Hey Looney Tunes53x , welcome. I like your username, I love Looney Tunes.

I guess a lot of people would relate to you, I know I do. I struggle myself so I don't have any tips unfortunately and don't want to give you wrong advice. but you could try what TonyWK suggested, looking at those forums? You could search them on Google, or type them in the search bar on the website up the top.

Thank you @whiteknight I’ll check these out today 🙃

Thank you for responding. Glad you like my name -I couldn’t think of anything else when put in the spot to decide. Being Very indecisive is also a trait which I’d like to get rid of. 🙃

Hey Tony WK. I’ve read the first 2 topics and can see the similarities. Typical scenario is (being naturally suspicious) my brain seems to be on high alert most of the time and when a thought enters I catastrophise it to the point where I can’t convince myself that what I’m thinking is not true. I tell myself this but it’s to no avail. A major blowup with partner is generally the result followed by a few days of complete silence. I want to talk it out but it’s as though my throat has closed over and the words just won’t come. Would a psychologist help with this do you think-it’s becoming crippling. 🙃

You're welcome, and yes I agree

Hi there,

I find the stop-technique helps me a lot. I close my eyes, literally say out loud "stop. go away." Then I open my eyes and try to really observe 3 things right in front of me. I might look out the window - sky is so blue today, that cloud is an interesting shape, the sunlight gives the leaves a pretty glow. This helps me to refocus and forget about the worry. Sometimes the negative-thought comes back so I would repeat the same mental exercise. My worries used to ruin my entire day, but nowadays at least I can steal back some parts of the day to calm my mind and do something I enjoy.

I cannot get rid of my anxiety-triggers. It's all about ongoing management. Don't we all wish there's an easy cure!

Thanks Amanda2000. So do you think the constant thought diversion works, and gets easier with practice? Sort of like a muscle ; the more you use it the better it gets? . I have tried this in the past but perhaps I haven’t followed through enough. 🤷‍♀️

Whether it gets easier with practice depends on whether I'm having a bad day or a good day, haha. If it's a really bad day, my mind is just too exhausted to do this. Sometimes I just tell myself "It's all too hard. I'll deal with it if my worry becomes a reality." Other times I might need to sleep to reset things overnight. Very often the initial worry gets replaced by a new worry. But the good thing is I can finally see that the initial worry was not so bad after all, and sometimes I can use that to dismiss the new worry.

Hi

Catastophising is common and in fact I do that also. It often comes from allowing things to fume without resolve.

I'd suggest professional medical help would be an advantage to you.

The other thing you can try with the help of a partner is regular meetings over a drink. Grad a coffee post dinner on a night when TV isn't good and chat. List topics in the notepad of your phone.

Finally emotional immaturity can stop you talking. Get the help you need.

TonyWK

Hi, weekends are generally bad days for me. I find it overwhelming that everyone is at home, there's no predictable schedule/timetable and I feel like I'm constantly on standby-mode. Couldn't relax at all. So I was dwelling on every irrational thought as you had described. Choosing clothes - oh I should've worn the other one/I think I've dressed too warm now. Choosing cutlery out of the kitchen drawer - oh I should've picked the other spoon/it looks shinier. Order of doing things - oh I should've started the dishwasher before doing the laundry. My head was in a mess! I couldn't do any of those self-help mental exercises. So I just had to ride it out. I kept telling myself these horrible feelings will pass. Monday morning I'm in recovery mode. Tuesday onwards I will be fully functional again. But then comes the weekend and the whole vicious cycle will repeat itself.

Hi Amanda

i hear what you’re saying being overwhelmed when everyone‘s around. When feeling anxious I find it’s hard to “turn off” from everything that’s going on and being said which is very tiring. It’s nice just to be left alone in silence just to take a breath and regroup!

Hi Looney Tunes53x, lovely to hear from you! If you have time, I've started my own thread under anxiety - Topic: anxiety at home - cannot relax

I would really appreciate your thoughts. Thanks.

Hi Amanda

thanks for letting me know -I will go and have a look . Meantime hugs to you 🫂

G'day Looney Tunes53x.

When I was busy studying and working simultaneously I actively avoided doing any chores, work or study on Saturdays. A whole day of headspace does wonders for mental health.

One other tip occurs to me, which is to play sport. During sport we focus on the immediate task at hand, we exercise our mental ability to focus on only what's important right now and practice switching off the noise of the rest of our thoughts. Try Squash or Cycling, they require keen focus on the task at hand.

Hi there. Yes I certainly agree that a day of avoidance does wonders for mental health-maybe there should be a designated day in the calendar 😄😄

I think it doesn’t matter whether it’s sport or yoga/meditation or indeed any type of hobby eg crochet , sewing etc ; if it keeps you focussed on just that one thing for a time it is definitely beneficial. finding the motivation to do and keep doing is the thing though. Sometimes your mind is your worst enemy. 🥺