Dear Tmay~
I'd like to join Geoff in welcome you here to the Forum. It's a good place to come for understanding and ideas from others. Geoff had some good suggestions.
One of the things you said was:
"My husband never hits me but constantly yells at me and I have been
walking on egg shells around him for years so I don’t get into trouble
from him."
Which is simply not right, nobody should have to live their life so they don't get into trouble with another, it needs to be equal if you are to stand any chance of a happy and secure life.
Can I suggest, if you have not already done so, you contact 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) and tell them what has been happening and how you have been treated. They are used to such things and may well be able to give practical advice or point you at organizations that can.
Constant depression is a huge burden to bear too, can I ask if you are having medical support for it? If not then seeing you GP in a long consultation may be a good idea. I mention this as I never started to get better until I did.
These thoughts above may help, please let me know what you think
I look forward to hearing from you again
Croix