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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Unhappy scared

Topic: Unhappy scared

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Slackdog
    Slackdog  avatar
    1 posts
    13 August 2019

    Hi first time

    I can’t get happy don’t enjoy anything . I got very sick with the flu 7/8weeks ago was off work for three weeks home by myself partner and stepdaughter away on holidays. Got news from my daughter was so happy for her but why am I so worried. My youngest daughter rarely contacts me I don’t see her I can’t contact her her mother had punished me for something that happened couple years ago I can’t get my head around it . I’m continually hurting and pushing the people who I love and care a about so much away from me . They are in my life but I feel so so so so alone I feel they are avoiding me . I’m empty numb in pain i just want it all to go away be as normal as possible be my old self . I have the tools but no will or want WHY I do not understand everyone says just do it . The people I’m hurting I thought understand but am really unsure now probably going to have to go back to my parents which makes matters worse but can’t keep letting my partner and stepdaughter down when I lose them I lost everything . Want the pain emptiness to all go away. I’ve been battling this a long long time lost everything once not that I have much to lose but can see it all going again I think I’ve just about had enough of this fight don’t no how much more fight I have getting very tired and scared

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Peppermintbach
    Valued Contributor
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    Peppermintbach avatar
    4566 posts
    13 August 2019 in reply to Slackdog

    Hi Slackdog,

    I feel your feelings of emptiness, confusion and loneliness through your words. It also sounds as though motivation is a struggle too. It sounds like things are very difficult for you right now...

    I feel it’s really tricky when there’s a part of you that craves closeness (or else you wouldn’t feel lonely), but there’s another part of you that wants distance (e.g. your tendency to push people away). I think those conflicting feelings/needs can be very confusing and unsettling...

    I think sometimes when a person is struggling with mental health issues that they sometimes push away the very thing (or people) that they need. But I feel this is not your “fault.” I think that’s just sometimes the course/nature of mental health issues and mental illness...

    I understand that it might be confusing or frustrating that you have the tools to help yourself, but struggle to find the will (as you said). But again, I think that can also be part of mental health issues as it can really affect things like our motivation...

    I think it’s because living with mental illness can take so much out of a person that sometimes it leaves little energy/motivation for other things. The irony is it’s often the things that we aren’t motivated to do are the very things that might be helpful in the long run...

    So I think, and through no fault of your own, that’s what makes mental health issues so insidious and many of us can get stuck in these cycles...I really feel for you and hope maybe if you keep those things in mind, perhaps it will comfort you a little...

    You can see if you like my little idea or not. But purely as a suggestion, I wonder if you might like to think of one thing that you think might help yourself e.g. see your GP or go for more walks or organise a weekly family night, etc. It doesn’t have to necessarily be those things as they’re just examples...

    It’s just that sometimes I feel if we try to use too many tools too quickly (e.g. wanting to change many things in our lives, do this and that), it can be a little overwhelming. So I suppose I’m suggesting tackling a big issue in small pieces/chunks...

    Good on you for reaching out. No pressure but if you feel like talking some more, it would be lovely to hear how things go...

    Kindness and care,

    Pepper

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